Fire Meet Gasoline
by eddiebell69
Summary: To her, it's all a game. To him, it's chaos created between his head and his heart. They're two strangers whose life is changed in one night. He strikes the match while she burns alive. A story where bristling desire turns pain into pleasure and fire. Written for the May to December Romance Contest.
1. Flame That Came From Me

Hi, hi, hi! This was my entry for the **May to December Romance Contest**, which unsurprisingly didn't win anything because I'm a rebel who doesn't follow rules. Therefore, I didn't really focus on the age gap between Edward and Bella since they had enough drama to deal with. It's all good, though, because lots of people liked it! I'm expanding it a bit now, too, so let's see how this works out.

**A few things before you read:** I wrote this story whilst listening to Sia's _**1000 Forms of Fear**_, so, it's Angsty. Yeah, that's right; Angsty with a capital A. I love to write non-canon characters and plots, and twisting things simply because I can is my favorite pastime. But most importantly, my characters are flawed and they're going to do things you're not going to like.

_**You have been warned.**_

**Disclaimer: **The author does not own any publicly recognizable characters herein. No copyright infringement is intended.

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**Chapter One: Flame That Came From Me**

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**Port Angeles – Autumn, 2010**

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"I'd like to buy you a drink," I say as I take a seat next to the gorgeous man that I spotted across the room almost an hour ago.

He must be in his mid or late thirties, although that has no bearing on his good looks. At least, I don't see how it would affect the appeal of his chiseled features nor his dark and messy hair. If anything, his age gives him an extra allure. Well, that and his groomed beard. Yet, I do wonder—if only just briefly—how he must've had girls flocking to him just for a chance to admire his piercing eyes and pouty lips as I have.

He's tall and lean, and with the way his physique is displayed by his tailored suit, fitter than most men I've been with. That has me intrigued, so I want to find out if it's true—by getting him out of his clothes and into my bed.

The handsome stranger shifts in seat, not facing me just yet, but simply leans his elbows on the bar. Smirking crookedly, he asks, "Is that so?"

"It is," I confirm. "It would be my pleasure, actually."

It's then when he finally faces me, gazing into my eyes. Surprisingly, though, he speaks in a sullen tone when he asks, "And why is that?"

"Well, I noticed you've been checking me out for awhile now, and I like you, so I thought: if Mohammed won't go to the mountain, the mountain must come to Mohammed, you know?"

He chuckles mirthlessly, shaking his head and breaking me out of my spell. "Are you always this straightforward?"

"When it comes to something I want? Yes." I nod. "All the time."

And now that I've seen him up close, that desire is greater. Because good Lord, if I'd thought he was good looking before, I was wrong. He's beautiful—more beautiful than any man has the right to be. His eyes aren't only piercing, they twinkle in the light, making me feel as if I'm swimming in the blue-green ocean they resemble. If we locked gazes again, I could definitely get lost in them, but that is not what this is about.

This is about getting physical and nothing else.

"Does that usually work in your favor?" he asks, after taking a sip of his drink.

"Most of the time," I tell him. "So, hopefully it'll work tonight, too."

"Good luck with that," he counters, shaking his head again.

"Are you going to play hard to get?" I tease, "Because the chase is just as fun as the catch."

"You're terrible," he snickers.

"I am," I agree. "And you're not married—well, at least not according to your left ring finger."

Wedding bands are something I always check for because I never get involved with married men. That's just asking for extra drama I don't need in my life.

He turns to look at me once more and sighs. "No, I'm not, but—"

"It doesn't matter," I interject. "Just forget about whoever is waiting for you at home, and have some fun with me tonight."

"I can't," he responds. "For as much as I'm flattered that someone like you is interested in me, that wouldn't be the right thing to do."

"_The right thing to do_," I echo, arching my brow. "There are very few men like you, I must say."

He smirks now, crinkling his eyes as he does so. "Thank you for the compliment."

Complimenting him wasn't my plan, but since he's not budging, I'm going to have to use another tactic.

Smiling, I take a sip of my own drink, which I brought with me when I moved to sit at the bar. Once I'm done, I lick my lips, and say, "You're welcome." I extend my hand to his in way of greeting before I tell him my name.

"Nice to meet you, Bella," he says, taking my hand in his. "I'm Edward."

Edward. What a fitting name for him: old-fashioned and proper.

"So, Edward," I begin. "What brings you to Port Angeles? Are you here for business or pleasure?"

"I wish it were for either of those reasons," he sighs and looks down at his drink. "But unfortunately, it's for neither."

Not wanting to delve into it further, wary that the motive of his travels might be something as terrible as a family member's passing, I decide to shift the conversation back to me.

"Same here," I tell him. "I'm in town to visit some family, but I'm really dreading it."

Edward takes a sip of his drink and then looks over to me. "Do you mind me asking why?"

I smile ruefully, shaking my head. "Not at all; and there really isn't much to it, you know? We're just not as close as we once were." I shrug. "We all changed and there's no going back."

I don't tell him which was the catalyst for the change, but I guess he must imagine just how painful it was because there's a sorrowful tone in his next words.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he tells me. "One's family should be an unconditional support system, but it's not always like that. I get it."

Getting back on track, I change the subject one more time. "Yeah, well, enough about me," I say. "Tell me more about yourself. What do you do for a living?"

Edward's face lights up while he tells me that he's an investment banker who travels around the world as part of his job. When he begins sharing stories of places he's visited, I play my part by nodding and smiling when appropriate while also sharing anecdotes from trips I've made.

Seeking any opportunity for our bodies to be in contact, I sit closer to Edward and place my hand on his forearm while my leg rubs against his when we shift. I can tell how much I affect him by the way he looks at me, and even though he tries to be subtle about it, I can feel the weight and heat of his gaze all over my body. It's rather amusing seeing as I'm not wearing anything provocative tonight—unless you count a white pantsuit as being sinful, of course.

My grin shifts into a predatory smirk when I realize that I have him just where I want him: wound tightly and ready to snap when I go in for the kill.

Wanting to prolong his misery, I order another drink from the bartender for myself and also order one for him as I'd offered to do before. Edward protests, but I insist that it's only fair since he's put up with my unsolicited company.

"I wouldn't go as far as saying that," Edward protests. "Your company is great, actually—"

"But you disapprove of my intentions," I interject, chuckling darkly.

"Exactly," he agrees. "If things were different, Bella, I would have taken you up on your offer the minute you made it."

"It truly is a shame, but you can't always get what you want." I shrug. "Such is life."

"Imagine if we all got what we wanted." Edward exhales deeply, slightly annoyed, before speaking again. "The world would be in chaos."

I nod. "Definitely, but let's not talk about that subject any longer, okay? Instead, tell me where you're from."

"I'm from Chicago," he begins, "but I'm hardly at home to consider it that. What about you?"

"New York is currently my permanent home, but before that, I really didn't have anywhere that felt as such," I reply, frowning.

"And what do you do for a living?" Edward asks, slightly switching our conversation before he takes a sip of his drink.

"I…" I exhale. "I don't really do much." Shrugging, I frown once more. "I kinda do my own thing? Travel here—there, anywhere."

He smirks crookedly. "So, you travel the world and pick up guys at bars?"

Raising my brow, I reply. "I only pick up guys that are worth my time—guys that I know will be worth the chase. If they come to me, it's actually kind of a turn off. Most men always approach me with the same, lame pickup lines."

"I bet that happens a lot since you truly are beautiful."

Edward actually makes me blush with his words, as if I'd never heard them before. Feeling childish, I mentally roll my eyes at myself and thank him for the compliment.

"Coming from you, that means a lot," I say. "It's fairly obvious that you have exceptional taste."

Edward laughs. "How can you deduce that from simply looking at me?"

"By doing _just_ that," I tell him. "It's written all over you, but especially by the way you dress."

"So, my custom-fit suits are a hit?" he asks, playfully.

"Definitely." I nod and take a final sip to my drink. "I'd say that your tailor deserves a big, fat bonus for Christmas. He or she makes you look sinfully sexy."

"I'll keep that in mind," he snickers.

"Well, I have to get going, but it was a pleasure to meet you, Edward," I say as I grab my clutch.

Tipping his drink at me, he smiles. "It was a pleasure to meet you, too. Thank you for the drink, by the way."

"It was my pleasure," I say, as I stand to leave and turn into him. Placing my hand on his shoulder, I lean down and give him a lingering peck on his lips. Before he can recover from my sudden kiss, I put my room key in his hand. "This is for you," I tell him. "Keep it in case you feel adventurous enough to have a rendezvous with me this weekend. I promise I won't tell anyone if you do."

Edward locks gazes with me, yet remains silent as I step away from him. I turn and head in the direction of the elevators by the bar's exit. When I finally reach them and step into one, the last thing I see is Edward clutching my key card in his hand with a bewildered look on his face.

I smirk, knowing that when he finally catches up to my game, he'll be mad that he didn't simply just give in to his desires.

**-O-**

When I return to my suite, I pop a Xanax into my mouth and down it with some water, hoping that its soothing effect has taken over by the time I take a much-needed shower. Maybe it's the fact that I have to visit my family tomorrow, or maybe I'm coming down from the adrenaline rush that chasing Edward at the bar gave me, but I feel on edge.

After removing my shoes, I head into the bathroom and get the hot water running. Next, I undress and step into the shower, relaxing almost instantly when the water sprays reach my body. I take my time washing my hair and body, finding extreme pleasure in such a mundane task. Once I'm done, I dry myself and apply lotion all over my body before slipping on my nightgown.

Watching TV seems like a good idea to pass time until I fall asleep, given that it seems unlikely that Edward will be joining me tonight. I head to my suite's living room and take a seat on the couch before I turn on the TV, flipping channels back and forth until I settle on MTV. I watch a few music videos between their normal programming, which ironically isn't much about music anymore.

A ridiculous reality show morphs into another one rather quickly, and as I'm heading to bed, there's a knock on my door. Behaving like the twenty-one-year-old girl that I am, I fist pump the air and do a little shimmy.

_My plan fucking worked!_

I compose myself before I walk toward my door, taking time to consider that it might not be Edward. What if my friend Riley finally decided to join me in my misery this weekend? I sigh, realizing that maybe I got my hopes up too high.

All that worry dissolves, though, when I open my door to find a disheveled looking Edward. His tie hangs loose on his neck now and his hair seems to have been tugged on out of frustration. More excitement courses through me as I revel in being the cause for his distress.

I know that the war within him to come up to my room was immense given that it's been almost two hours since I left him at the bar. Smiling, I simply ask, "Did you change your mind?"

Edward steps forward wordlessly, captivating me in a searing kiss as he grips my head with one hand and pulls me to him with the other. Having wanted this more than anything since I first saw him, I reply in kind, snaking my hands around his neck to tug on his hair. He moans in approval and pulls me even closer into him. His hold tightens around my hip before he shifts his hand higher until it's splayed across my back.

Breaking away from our kiss, Edward leans his forehead against mine as he closes his eyes. "I'm going to Hell for this, Bella, but, _fuck_, if that's my punishment, I might as well enjoy this thoroughly," he pants.

I kiss him deeply again and pull him into my suite before locking the door. Pushing him against the door, I grab the lapels of his suit jacket and pull him closer to me.

"I promise to make this good for you," I murmur, sliding my hands up to his neck before reversing my path until I begin to unbutton his shirt.

An impious smile overtakes his features as he gazes down at me. "You better believe that I'll hold you to that." Edward kisses me once. "In fact, I demand that you make good on your word."

My hands cease their descent at the same time that I raise my brow at him. "You _demand_ that_?_" I scoff. "Who the Hell are _you_ to demand _anything_ from me?"

"You're such a fucking tease, Bella," Edward chuckles, clutching me to him. "You rile me up and then tell me I can't do what I want?" He clicks his tongue, shaking his head. "I'm in charge now, baby, and what I say goes."

I bite my lip in anticipation, observing how Edward's eyes darken with desire. This is definitely not what I was expecting, but it's clearly better.

"Are you going to punish me if I misbehave?" I taunt, resuming my task of removing his shirt.

Edward pushes a lock of hair behind my ear as he leans down. "You have no idea," he huskily whispers in my ear before giving the side of my neck a quick nip with his teeth.

I melt into him, surrendering any defiance I had left in me, and tilt my head to the side, silently asking him to do it again and again.

He takes the clue, nipping my skin until he reaches my shoulder. There, Edward slips the strap of my nightgown down, whispering how much he loves what I'm wearing.

"Blue looks great against your creamy skin," he begins. "And this silk and lace? It makes you sinfully sexy."

I snicker, realizing that he's teasing me by using my own words against me.

"You know what?" I ask, raising my brow. "Maybe _I_ should punish _you _for taunting me."

"I'd like to see you try," he defies.

Nodding, I smile mischievously. "Alright."

Taking him by the hand, I guide him into the bedroom until we reach the bed. Edward and I then begin to undress each other between passionate kisses until we're finally naked.

He lays me on the bed, hovering above me as he kisses his way from my neck to my chest. Once there, Edward licks and bites my breasts from bottom to top, sucking my nipples hard. Other men have done this before, but I had never enjoyed it so much, especially with his scruff intensifying the sensation tenfold.

I gasp and moan while he makes his descent to my sex, nipping my skin in the process. As he does so, his hardness is pressed between us, letting me know just how badly he wants me. Edward then spreads my thighs and wraps his hands around them, pulling me closer to him.

Trembling in anticipation, I wait for him to make his next move, but it's not for long. Edward slips his tongue between my folds, running it along my sex until he makes his way upward. Once in direct contact with my clit, Edward begins flicking it with the tip of his tongue, causing me to cry out. A mixture of a moan and groan escapes Edward's throat, probably in appreciation of my reaction to his actions.

I thrash and whimper, pushing his head closer to my sex, making him scrape my thighs with his beard. I am so consumed by what he's doing that I fail to notice he's slipped one of his hands from my thighs to my entrance. He then sucks my heated flesh into his mouth and pumps his fingers into me.

That's all it takes to make me come undone.

My body melts into the mattress as I clutch the sheets in my hands. I'm a panting and trembling mess, lost to the world as I drown in complete pleasure. Every nerve in my body is alive like an electric wire, and even though it's irrational, I want to experience it all over again almost immediately.

Through my frenzied daze, I see Edward head to the side of the bed where his pants were discarded. He reaches into one of its pockets, retrieving a box of condoms before taking one out; his movements are quick as he tears the foil wrapper and sheaths himself with the contraceptive.

Edward makes his way back to me and kisses me languidly as he lies between my legs, hovering above me once more. He aligns himself at my entrance and finally thrusts into me deeply and without warning. His hands make their way to mine, threading our fingers together before pinning them above me.

Soft moans fall from my lips while his hips come into contact with mine. As Edward gauges my reactions, he gazes intently at me. A look of bewilderment takes over his face, causing him to still his movements momentarily.

It's as if he can't believe that he's experiencing this moment, but as soon as he recovers, he begins pounding into me over and over. He slides his hands down my wrists to my arms, and finally, to my hips. Gripping them, Edward pulls me a bit higher for leverage.

Like this, I can feel him deeper inside of me, reaching places that no one has before. It's as if my body were an instrument and only he knows how to play it correctly, which dumbfounds me for a second. Before I can get too overwhelmed with what that may mean, Edward is already pulling one of my legs to the side.

"Let me know if this is too much," he pants.

I just nod, too lost in the sensations coursing through me to speak. As if that weren't enough, Edward places my leg on his shoulder and grinds his hips against mine. Moaning loudly, I throw my head back in pleasure and clutch my sheets once again, trying to find something that will tether me to this world.

Edward grunts as he grinds and thrusts into me over and over, but soon switches our position again by placing my other leg on his shoulder as well. Grasping my hips, he pulls me to him as he thrusts forward, creating the most delicious friction between us. I can tell that his body's now covered by a sheen of sweat given that I can feel it under my ankles and calves as they slide against him.

It doesn't take much for me to come again, but this time my orgasm isn't as intense as before. Still, it must be enough for it to trigger Edward's own, because suddenly, he groans loudly and begins pumping into me with reckless abandon.

"Is this what you wanted?" Edward grunts. "Is this what you were looking for when you approached me at the bar?"

"Yes," I gasp.

"Did you imagine it could be this great?"

I shake my head. "No."

"Good," he says in a cocky tone. "That's what you get for underestimating me."

I'm about to argue that he's wrong, but at that moment, Edward grips me tighter and increases the vigor of his movements before ceasing altogether as he comes.

"Fuck," he exhales, removing my legs from his shoulders while pulling out of me as he does so. Edward then takes a minute to gather his wits before standing to discard his used condom.

Meanwhile, I lay on the bed with my eyes closed, trying to catch my breath. I am nothing more than a smiling fool whose limbs have been turned into mush. As I think of that, a chuckle escapes me.

"Are you laughing at me?" Edward asks as he returns to the bed and lies next to me. "Was I that lousy in the sack?"

I shake my head and open my eyes. "Nope, not at all. And just so you know, I _didn't_ underestimate you before," I say. "I _knew_ you'd be great in bed, but you probably exceed anyone's expectations."

He laughs, turning to look at me."Oh, Bella, you truly know how to boost a man's ego."

"Thank you," I tease. "I do aim to please."

"_Really?" _He raises a brow at me. "Show me."

And I do just that for the next hour or so, proving to Edward that I can give just as good as I get.

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**Thank you so much for reading!**


	2. You Turned the Gas on High

**Disclaimer: **The author does not own any publicly recognizable characters herein. No copyright infringement is intended.

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**Chapter Two: You Turned the Gas on High**

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**Forks – Autumn, 2010**

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The following morning, I am awakened by a soft kiss on my lips. Smiling, I stretch my limbs, and when I open my eyes, I find Edward leaning down next to me.

"I have to get going," he explains.

I nod and pull the covers tightly to me. "It's okay," I assure him. "I actually thought you'd already left."

"_Without saying goodbye_?" he scoffs, shaking his head. "Never—and especially not after last night."

"Last night was absolutely fantastic," I sigh.

"It was," he agrees. "Unfortunately, we have to return to real life now."

I know, and I'm dreading it, but I don't say anything.

"Maybe we'll see each other another time," I say, hopeful. Because nights like the one we shared are few and far between.

Edward met all my expectations and then some; he's as fit as I suspected, and his stamina proved to be better than I imagined. Not only did he turn out to be an excellent lover, he recovered rather quickly, giving him the opportunity to use my body to his will more than once.

"Maybe," he says as he stands, smiling forlornly. "I'll see you around—or not."

Closing my eyes, I snicker and snuggle into my bed a little deeper. So, when Edward exits my suite, I hear it rather than see it. I remain in bed for at least another hour before I get up and repeat my routine from the night before, but this time, after showering, I blow dry my hair.

Following that, I put on a fairly discreet, black mini dress and matching pumps since my family's brunch today is supposed to be a special occasion. God knows what that means, but in order to avoid a lecture from my father, I primp myself accordingly. Once I'm finished, I grab the clutch I took to the bar last night and switch its contents into a black one. The last thing I do before leaving is putting on my dark sunglasses since the sun is shining brightly and I have to drive for about an hour to get home.

Many probably wonder why I'd stay at a place so far from my hometown, but the truth is that I want to be as distanced from Forks as possible. I don't want to be around all the people that knew me during my childhood because they want to see me as _that_ same person, and it's just not possible. Besides, the less I have to deal with my stepmother the better. That's the reason why I rented a car as soon as I arrived to the Port Angeles Airport and drove straight to the hotel as I've been doing for the past few years.

Also, the drive there helps me relax a bit before facing the most probable drama that ensues whenever my family gets together. It's sad, really, but isn't that usually the case for wealthy and dysfunctional families? Well, at least it is for the residents of Swan Manor.

It wasn't always like that, though. When my mother was alive, we were very happy. We had normal problems like everyone else, but it wasn't ever like this. Now, we can barely stand to be in the same room for more than an hour, and when we do, it never ends well. My father remarrying almost a year after my mother's death isn't even what triggered the change, yet it certainly didn't help matters.

When he introduced Rosalie to us as his girlfriend, I lost my shit. Not only is she twenty years younger than he is, she is also very beautiful. And although she probably didn't marry my father for his money, because she's from a wealthy family as well, she most definitely did it for the status she gained by being his wife.

That was something that was obvious from the get-go. She never cared for any of us and she didn't even try. Rosalie came into my home to take on a role that she never fulfilled, and that's something that my father is responsible for.

He's still in love with my mother, even if it's been five years since she's been gone. Although, I don't think it's been easy for him to forget her since my mother's presence is imprinted throughout our house. The French Country decor she chose when my father bought it is intact, and her portrait still resides in my father's office, so she's never really disappeared from our lives. I can't imagine how anyone would be able to live in the shadow of someone else's memory, but I guess that doesn't bother Rosalie as long as she keeps her title of trophy wife.

Finally, I pull up to the chateau that I called home for eighteen years, and park my car. After removing my shades, I close my eyes and exhale deeply, trying to calm my nerves, but it's of no use. Opening my eyes, I reach over to the passenger seat and grab my clutch.

I then retrieve my prescription bottle and take out a Xanax since the one I took earlier this morning before my shower didn't help at all. I pop it into my mouth immediately, wishing for it to work in time for when things get distressing.

Getting out of the car, I walk toward the house's entrance and ring the doorbell. Rosalie opens the door quickly and greets me.

"Good morning, Mommy Dearest," I tell Rosalie as I walk past her.

She sighs. "Bella, don't you think it's a little too early for you to start aggravating me?"

"Nope," I say, popping my "p" at the end. "It's never too early to start busting your balls."

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Rosalie exhales deeply. "Your father is waiting for you outside, so why don't you head over there, alright?"

I don't say anything, ignoring her as usual, and simply head to the patio. When I reach it, I spot my father reading his newspaper at the head of the table and walk over to him.

"Hey, Daddy," I say as I lean down to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, sweetheart, how are you?" he asks before returning my kiss. "How is New York treating you?"

"Really well," I reply, taking a seat next to him. "The apartment you got me for my birthday is beautiful."

He grins. "I'm very happy you like it, and I'm very happy to see you, too."

"I'm happy to see you as well."

"Maybe you should visit more often."

"Maybe you should divorce Rosalie."

"_Bella_," he chides. "Are we always going to have this discussion?"

"No," I say, exasperated. "But you know how I feel about her."

"I do, and you know how I feel about her, too."

"So, where's everyone?" I ask, trying to change the subject. "Aren't Alice and Jasper supposed to be here already?"

"Your brother's not going to be able to make it today—he had some art show he couldn't cancel," my father explains. "And Alice should be here any minute now. Her flight was delayed, so her boyfriend is picking her up before they come over."

"_Her boyfriend?" _I raise my brow. "Whatever happened with Garrett? I thought they were still married._"_

"Not really," my father sighs. "She's apparently filed for divorce and is in the last stages of getting it finalized."

"Well, I pity the fool that has fallen for my sister," I sneer. "He has no idea what he's gotten into."

"Who has no idea what he's gotten into?" Rosalie asks as she joins us.

"Alice's boyfriend," I inform her, rolling my eyes. "He's coming to meet the parents today."

"Oh," she says. "Maybe that's the good news your sister was talking about when she asked all of us to be here."

"Who knows?" I shrug. "Alice is full of surprises nowadays."

One of the housemaids arrives then, serving us coffee and juice just as Alice arrives with her boyfriend in tow. He's all smiles as they walk into the patio until he locks eyes with me. When he does, he minutely paralyzes and pales before pretending that everything is fine. Yeah, I'd react the same way if I found out I fucked my girlfriend's little sister the night before.

I can't help feeling irrationally mad, especially because I have no right to, but I contain my fury and withhold lashing out. I simply watch as Alice introduces Edward to my father and Rosalie.

When it's time for our official introduction, he shakes my hand warily. "Nice to meet you, Edward Masen," I say, coolly.

"Likewise," he tells me.

Alice then walks over to me, wrapping me in what has to be the fakest hug ever.

"Little Sister," she coos. "How have you been?"

"Much better," I deadpan.

"Oh, Bella, it's good to see you haven't lost your sense of humor," she says in a patronizing tone.

"It's good to see you haven't, either," I retort.

Stepping away from me, Alice finally allows her disdain for me to be shown by scowling as she takes a seat across the table. Edward sits next to her, of course, which means I'll probably have to see him being affectionate with her, and that sole thought makes me want to gag.

"So," my father begins, trying to dissipate the tension, "how are you finding Forks, Edward? Do you like it so far?"

Alice giggles airily. "Edward just arrived to Port Angeles yesterday, Daddy," she replies for him. "So, he hasn't had time to explore the town yet."

_No, he was too busy fucking me._

God, I hate myself for even thinking that, but I can't help it! It's all I can do while our housemaid serves us brunch and my father asks Edward all the customary questions about himself. As Alice relates the story of how she and Edward met, I'm reminiscing over how passionate he was last night the three times we had sex, but especially when he took me from behind. I get so caught up in the memories that I completely miss Alice's announcement.

With a bewildered look on my face, I ask Alice to repeat herself.

"We're engaged!" she gushes. "Isn't it wonderful?!" Alice thrusts her left hand to me, showing me her ostentatious ring.

"Are you fucking serious right now?" I scoff.

"_Bella_," my father warns.

"I mean, seriously," I snarl, leaning forward in my seat. "You made me come all the way from New York just so you could tell us this bullshit? Just so you could make a big spectacle out of your engagement? You're fucking unbelievable."

"Well, I'm sorry that I'm wasting your allotted time for spending our father's money and travelling the world!" Alice seethes.

"Fuck you," I spit. "You don't know dick about the importance of marriage! How long is this marriage gonna last, huh? Are you finally gonna make it to an anniversary? Or is it gonna be over before then as the previous two have?"

Alice looks infuriated, seething quietly as she glares at me, which makes me believe that Edward had no knowledge about her tumultuous past.

I shake my head and lock gazes with Edward. "And you," I accuse. "What kind of person marries someone they don't even fucking know?" I'm incredulous, half-expecting Edward to say something, but he just looks shocked at my outburst.

"Isabella," Rosalie interjects, "I think you've said enough, so why don't you calm down, please."

"This is bullshit." I toss my napkin onto my plate and stand from my seat to head over to my father. "I'm sorry, Daddy, but I just can't stick around to watch this circus unfold. I'll call you as soon I get back to New York," I tell him before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

My father simply nods, taking my face in his hands to look at me. "Take care, sweetheart."

"I will," I promise.

**-O-**

It's been three hours since I left my father's house, and I'm still a mess. I can't get over how quickly everything escalated, but more importantly, how fucked up it is that Edward turned out to be Alice's fiancé. That's probably what I can't wrap my head around. Just this morning, he was still here in my suite. We slept in the same bed and he kissed me goodbye.

_Fuck._

I close my eyes again and lean back on the couch as I scrub my face with my hands. I'm at a loss as to what to do, because while it would be gratifying to tell Alice that I slept with Edward, I'm not sure I want to deal with the consequences. It would be the beginning of a war between us and that would break my father's heart.

I really can't do that to him.

Sighing, I open my eyes and lean forward to grab the bottle of beer I've been drinking. I take a swig and then reach for my smokes on the coffee table, hoping it'll appease me since the Xanax I took when I got to the hotel didn't help me at all. As I place a cigarette between my lips to ignite it, the door to my suite opens unexpectedly.

Edward enters the room as if he owns the fucking building, infuriating me instantly.

"What are you doing here?" I exclaim as I stand from the couch. "Better yet, how did you manage to get a key card for my room?"

"You gave it to me last night."

"So? You were supposed to return it. You know, when you returned to _your fiancée_."

"Don't you dare accuse me of anything, Bella," Edward threatens, walking up to me. "You're the one that approached me, so you have no right to throw that in my face."

"You could have said no."

"I _did_ say no!" he roars. "I said it more than once, but you incited me until you knew I'd do what you wanted."

I throw my hands up. "Fine, I'll admit to that, but that doesn't give you the right to barge in here whenever you want. Aren't you supposed to be with Alice?"

Edward exhales, looking troubled. "I needed some time to think."

"So, you headed here," I jeer, crossing my arms.

"You're the reason I'm losing my fucking mind, Bella," he snaps while glaring at me. "You're all I can think about—and that shit you pulled this morning? It's got my head spinning." Edward points at himself when he continues. "I was already feeling fucking torn because I couldn't look at Alice without thinking of you—of what we did last night—even though I didn't know that you were sisters yet. Then, you started spewing lectures left and right as if you have any right to do so!"

"Fuck you!" I yell, extending my arm to slap him across the face, but he captures it and pulls me to him.

"I already did that last night," he sneers. "Do you want a repeat already?"

"_I hate you_," I say as a childish retort.

"No you don't," Edward laughs derisively. "_You want me_—you want me as much as I want you."

I don't have time to respond or react, because before I know it, Edward kisses me fiercely. When his tongue comes in contact with my own, I cry out in pleasure and tug on his hair. This spurs Edward on, causing him to start nipping my lips between kisses. We stay like that for almost five minutes until he picks me up and leads us toward the dining table.

Edward sets me down and pushes up my dress until he reaches my panties and tugs them down. "You're on the pill, right?"

I simply nod, biting my lip as Edward unbuckles his pants.

"That's perfect," he says before pulling me forward on the table and thrusting into me. "That's just _fucking_ perfect."

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**


	3. Party Girls Don't Get Hurt

**Disclaimer: **The author does not own any publicly recognizable characters herein. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**Chapter Three: ****Party Girls Don't Get Hurt**

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**New York – Autumn, 2010**

* * *

"So, what happened next?" my friend Riley asks.

We're currently having coffee at my apartment in New York, and I'm relating to him what happened during my trip to Forks.

"You mean after he fucked me senseless on the dining table?"

Riley rolls his eyes, nodding.

"We headed to the bathroom for a shower and ended up having sex again before he went back to my father's house."

"Damn, Bella, you two fucked like bunnies."

I chortle, finding his reaction amusing.

"And what are you going to do now? Are you and Edward going to pretend as if nothing happened?"

"I don't know," I reply honestly. "Edward asked me for my number and said he'd call me later, but we never discussed what he would tell Alice."

"Are you going to tell her?" he asks before taking a sip of his latte.

I shake my head. "No, although that doesn't mean that I'm going to stop seeing Edward if he calls me and asks out."

"Ooh, I'm intrigued," he says. "Keep going."

"Well, there isn't much to it." I shrug. "Edward is excellent in bed, so who's going to say no to that?"

Riley nods, seeming to be lost in thought for a second before he speaks again. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"You said that he was almost shy at the bar, right?"

I nod. "He was."

"So, don't you find it a bit odd that he was almost predatory when you were intimate?"

"Not at all," I reply after taking a sip of my latte. "There are many women like that as well, you know?"

Riley shrugs. "Yeah, that's true."

"I mean, sure, it's almost as if he became a different person, but that was the main appeal to him," I confess. "It's almost as if I knew I could tap into that side of him."

"You're lethal, woman." He shakes his head. "I feel sorry for Alice if he decides to stay with her."

"Why?" I scoff.

"Because he's going to be with her while thinking of you."

Looking down at my cup, I smirk because I know Riley's correct. Edward has done it before; he said so himself.

My cell phone rings at that moment, causing me to laugh when I see who's calling.

"Speaking of the Devil," I tell Riley before answering. "Hello?"

"Hey, Bella," he sighs.

"Hey, Edward, is everything alright?" I ask, concerned.

Riley looks over at me, mouthing "what's wrong," but I just frown and shrug.

"Yes, everything is fine. I've just had a long day."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help you?"

Edward chuckles. "If you were here, you definitely could."

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Mr. Masen."

"I can't seem to be able to do that whenever you're involved."

"So what you're saying is that I'm to blame for your dirty thoughts?" I ask playfully.

"Exactly," he teases.

"That's good to know."

Edward chuckles again before exhaling deeply. "Well, I didn't just call you to tell you how perverted you are—"

"I figured," I interject.

"Smartass."

"Alright, we've established that I'm a smart-assed perv; what else is new?"

"Bella," he groans. "Will you let me finish, please?"

"Fine," I whine.

"I'm going to be in New York this weekend, and I was hoping that you'd join me for dinner."

I raise my brow even though he can't see me. Chuckling, I ask, "Is that what you really want? Or is that just an excuse to be with me?"

"If you already know the answer to that question, why are you asking it?" he challenges.

"Fair enough," I concede. "I'll text you my address, so once you arrive, head over here and then we'll figure out what to do about dinner."

"I like that plan."

"I do, too," I admit.

"Alright, well, I've got to go because I'm headed into a meeting, but I'll be waiting for your address."

"Okay, call me when you arrive at JFK."

"Will do," he agrees. "Bye, Bella."

"Bye," I say before hanging up.

I look over to Riley and notice that he's looking at me funny. "What?"

"Girl, you've got it bad," Riley observes.

I shake my head. "What are you talking about?"

"That conversation between you and Mr. Tight-Pants has infatuation written all over it."

"You're crazy," I snicker.

"That's a given, but I know what I'm saying, so if you know what's right for you, you'll stay away from that man. No good can come out of it."

"So, now you're going to start telling me what and what not to do?"

"No, but I care about you, and I don't want to see you get hurt," he says.

"Well, then you have nothing to worry about," I tell Riley. "Edward is simply a novelty—a salacious one because of his relationship to my sister—but a novelty nonetheless. Soon, I'll become uninterested in him and life will go on as if nothing happened between us."

"If that's what you want to believe, then that's fine, I guess. Just remember that if you play with fire, you're likely to get burned."

**-=oOo=-**

The following week, Alice comes over to my place—unannounced and uninvited—so, to say that I am surprised would be a gross understatement.

"Your place looks really nice," she observes as she looks around my apartment.

She's currently sitting on my couch, in the exact same place where I fucked Edward the previous weekend. Yeah, he didn't leave my place during his stay here until he had to return to Chicago, so we took advantage of the time by having sex all over my apartment. And the only thing we ate during that time was take-out because he really wasn't interested in taking me out.

The thought makes me chuckle, causing Alice to look over at me.

"You think I'm lying?" she inquires, and although she poses it as a question she actually says it more like a statement.

"Not at all." I shake my head. "It's just kind of unbelievable to see you here."

"Oh, okay."

"My friend Riley helped me decorate, by the way."

She raises her brow, incredulous. "Riley? As in _Riley Biers?"_

_"_Yeah."

"I didn't know you two were dating."

"We're not." I frown. "We've never been anything more than friends."

"Well, why the hell not? He's good looking and comes from a good family. And not only that, if you married him, you'd have economic stability. Your future would be made!"

"Okay, first of all, I don't need economic stability. I have a trust fund that has set me up for life—just like you do," I say pointedly. "And second of all, Riley is my best friend, so why would I ruin that?"

Alice scoffs. "Lots of friends get married these days."

"Yeah, well, Riley's much more than that." I smirk as I continue. "He's like the sister I never had."

Alice looks ready to lash out, yet she composes herself. "I don't know why you insist on this animosity between us, Bella. We are sisters after all."

"You don't even know what being a sister entails," I scoff. "If you did, you wouldn't behave as you do."

As if a switch had been flipped, Alice turns saccharine. "I want to make amends with you," she says.

"_Amends_?" I ask incredulously, raising my brow. "There is no way you can make up for breaking my heart."

"Bella," she pleads, "that was years ago. Can't you forgive me already? Emmett isn't worth all this trouble, okay?"

I look down at my lap briefly before continuing. "Emmett was my _everything _and you fucked me over by sleeping with him when I was already dealing with so much," I accuse. "So, yeah, maybe Emmett isn't worth all this trouble—especially considering he never meant anything to you—but it was the fact that you could do that to me that _broke_ me. You deceived me when I most needed you, so please excuse me if I can't get over it yet!"

"I already said I was sorry," she claims.

"Yeah, well maybe I'll accept your apology when you actually fucking mean it," I snap.

"Fine," Alice replies, exasperatedly. "You don't want to let that go, then that's on you, not me."

I exhale, grinning sardonically. "Yes, it's all on me."

"Exactly," she says, clueless. "Anyhow, let's get back on track, okay? I want to do something that will hopefully help us repair our bond."

"And what would that be?" I ask, skeptical.

"I want you to be my maid of honor," she chirps.

"No."

Alice's face falls. "Why not?"

"For the simple fact that I don't want to."

"That's not a good enough excuse."

"It's good enough for me," I say as I cross my arms.

"_Bella_," she whines. "I really need you to do this. I don't have anyone else."

"What about Kate or Lauren? They're your closest friends."

"They've already been my maids of honor before, so that only leaves you for that position. So, say yes. Please," she begs.

"I wouldn't know what to do," I confess.

"I can help you with anything if you need help."

"If you can do it, then why ask me?"

"I can't be my own maid of honor," she scoffs. "Don't be silly."

"I'm not; I just mean that if you can take care of all the bullshit that comes with weddings, then why don't you do it? I'll just stand there next to you, looking pretty in a big poofy dress, on your big day."

"Bella, it's not the same thing!" Alice groans. "You just don't get it."

"I don't."

"Can't you just do something nice for me for once in your life? When have I asked you for anything, huh?" she asks, clearly exasperated.

"You lost that privilege a long time ago," I inform her. "But, I'll tell you this: I'll think about it. That's as much as I can give you."

"Oh, my God," she gushes excitedly. "Thank you so much!"

"Don't thank me just yet," I tell her. "I'm still going to decide what to do."

I don't even know why I agree to do as much because something feels wrong about all of this.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! Check out the link on my profile for visuals!**


	4. You're Locked inside My Heart

If you read this story in the contest, you will see that there's a slight change in this chapter. It involves Bella and Riley in Charlie's study, so it's up to you if you want to skip this chapter or not.

**Disclaimer:** The author does not own any publicly recognizable characters herein. No copyright infringement is intended.

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**Chapter Four: You're Locked inside My Heart**

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**Forks – Spring, 2011**

* * *

"You're going to owe me big time for agreeing to this bullshit," I tell Riley as I drive us toward Forks from the Port Angeles airport.

"No, you're going to owe _me_, big time," he retorts. "We're doing this to see what the bitch of your sister has up her sleeve."

I groan for what feels like the millionth time, wishing I could take my words back. Not only have I agreed to be Alice's maid of honor, but I'm also going to stay at the manor for the first time in three years because Alice wants all of us to be there for her engagement party.

"I must have been high when I let you lure me into this madness."

"That is very likely, but haven't you ever heard that you have to keep your friends close and your enemies closer, Belly Pop? You're a shame to all the playas in the world. This playa don't know the game," he grumbles.

And once again, Riley reminds me why he's the best. He always knows what to do to help me feel better.

I reach over to grab his hand and smile. "Have I told you how much I love you?"

"Not lately, but that's okay. I know you love me a lot."

"I'm a horrible friend," I say dejectedly.

"No you're not," Riley argues, taking a deep breath as he grips my hand. "You're a great friend—you just have a lot going on right now."

I remain quiet, knowing that I'm the only one to blame for all the chaos in my life.

Noticing the shift in my mood, Riley clears his throat. "Let's get back to business, alright? Don't forget the checklist that I gave you. Knowing Alice, she's going to be sure that you're in the dark about what to do for the bridal party."

"Yeah, I'm ready for that."

And really, I am. I'm just not ready for everything else.

**-O-**

After we've settled into our rooms, Riley and I join my dad and Rosalie for dinner, which is actually a pleasant event. Alice and Edward don't arrive until much later, so I don't have to deal with either one before going to bed.

The problem I'm facing is actually falling asleep. I've already taken two Xanax and enjoyed a long, pleasurable bath, but I haven't been able to relax. It might be because I'm in my old room and it brings back childhood memories or maybe it's because Alice and Edward are sleeping in the room next to me.

This is exactly what I was afraid of when Alice told me we'd be staying here: the accommodations. Riley offered to stay with me, but because everyone else would make a big deal out of it, we decided against it. So now, he's in a guest room two doors down while I'm stuck next to Alice.

I get up from my bed and head down to the kitchen for some warm milk in hopes that it'll help me go to sleep. Once there, I take my time drinking it and even wash my glass before heading upstairs, but I eventually have to return to my room.

Climbing the stairs one at a time, I finally reach my floor, but I wish I never did.

As I walk by Alice's room, I can hear her and Edward fucking, and it's not just a soft moan or anything, they're loud as Hell. Alice is crying out in pleasure while Edward thrusts into her so hard that her headboard is banging on the wall.

Even if I'd been asleep, they would have woken me up with their ruckus. I decide then and there to head to Riley's room—consequences be damned.

I'm not surprised at all when he opens the door almost immediately when I knock. "Couldn't sleep?" I ask.

"More like I was woken up," he grumbles.

"Can I stay here with you?" I ask shyly.

"Of course, Boo," he says, opening his door wider. "You're always welcome to stay with me."

**-O-**

The following morning, Riley and I head to breakfast, and just as I suspected, we're bombarded with questions about whether or not we're together. Alice is responsible for telling everyone that she saw me coming out of Riley's room, which doesn't surprise me one bit.

Edward doesn't comment on anything, though. He simply observes Riley and me being silly together as we tell my father that we might beat Alice and Jasper in giving him a grandchild. What is odd is that my father plays along, and while he does so, he looks happier than he has in a long time.

Before we know it, day turns to night and we're all ready for the engagement party, which is more of an introduction into our society for Edward since none of his family came. Jasper also didn't make it, but I'm presuming that he isn't giving Alice's relationship that much thought since this isn't the first time we've been through this.

Like Jasper, I really don't understand why she's making such a spectacle about this relationship in particular. It's not as if she's in love with Edward, and although he does come from money, he isn't as wealthy as our family. When she married James, whom Alice claimed was the love of her life, she made everything very intimate. When she married Garrett, they simply eloped.

I don't dwell on that, though, since I still have mixed feelings about what I heard the night before. While I shouldn't be surprised that Alice and Edward are intimate, considering just how physical he is, it doesn't stop me from wondering why Edward keeps seeking me out. It's been four months since we first met, and during that time, we've hooked up three times.

Just as I'm starting to become overwhelmed by my thoughts and the people surrounding me, Riley appears at my side.

"How are you holding up, Boo?" he asks.

"I'm managing I guess," I sigh.

"Yeah, I figured." He looks around and then continues. "So, what do you say we ditch this party and throw one of our own in your father's study? I have some premium weed with me, so it'll be just like old times."

Gasping, I turn to look at him. "You're fucking with me right now," I say incredulous.

"Would I ever joke about ganja, mon?" Riley says in a botched Jamaican accent.

I don't even reply, I simply take him by the hand and lead him out of the manor's ballroom and head toward our destination. When we reach the study, Riley locks the door and we then take a seat on a pair of armchairs by my father's desk.

"You think anyone's gonna notice that we're gone?" Riley asks as he lights up a blunt.

Shrugging, I reply, "I don't think so. Everyone is too busy gushing over the bride and groom to be."

Riley takes a hit, inhaling deeply before exhaling a string of smoke rings. "Yup, still got it," he rasps as he hands me the blunt.

"I can't believe we haven't done this since college," I chuckle before taking a hit myself. I close my eyes and lean my head against the plush armchair, enjoying the calmness that the toke instantly provides me.

"You say that like it's been a long time, and it's only been a year since we graduated," Riley snorts.

"I can't believe I graduated early _and _with honors."

"Yeah, well, when you arrived at Columbia you already had half of your credits done, so it wasn't that huge of a surprise," he observes. "Plus, you studied your ass off during your two years there."

That is very true. When my mother died, all I ever did was study and I continued to do the same once I moved to New York. It wasn't until I met Riley and his friends that I actually began to relax a little and have more fun. Consequently, since we were spending lots of time together, we eventually moved in together.

"Do you remember all the fun we had at that shitty, loft apartment?" I ask after taking another hit.

Riley laughs, almost choking since he just took a drag from the blunt. "Fuck, Belly Pop, those have been some of the best times of my life."

"Ditto," I say, turning to gaze at him. "I miss us."

"I miss us, too."

"I miss walking in on you and Jacob," I chuckle. "That was the best live-action porn that has ever existed."

Riley grins derisively. "You know what _I_ miss?" he asks, looking over at me. "I miss fucking _you_."

Before I have time to think what I'm doing, I stand and walk over to him, straddling his lap. Riley's reaction is automatic, too. He takes my face in his hands and gives me a passionate kiss while also being as gentle as he's always been when it comes to me. My hands wrap around his neck and then begin tugging his hair, causing him to groan gently.

We briefly pull away, gazing at each other as we silently ask: _Is this what you want? Is that what you need?_ It's always been this way with Riley. We take comfort from one another, always willing to reciprocate when the other is in need. This time it is I who seeks solace, so I simply nod and lean forward to kiss him again.

Riley slides his fingers down my back, causing goosebumps to rise on my skin as he reaches the lone button that holds the top of my dress together. Once he's unfastened it, he delicately slides my sleeves down my shoulders and slips them past my arms and hands to free me from them. Riley then pulls away from my lips to kiss down my neck and breasts while I rock against him and unbutton his shirt.

I take off his suit jacket and shirt next, making him stop what he's doing momentarily before I press my chest against his, seeking contact and warmth. We resume kissing while Riley unfastens his pants and pushes my panties to the side, thrusting into me slowly.

"Fuck," I whimper as I close my eyes and slightly lean my head back.

_This is exactly what I needed._

Riley and I rock our bodies in perfect harmony as he kneads my breasts in his hands, switching between kissing and sucking my nipples. Having returned my hands to his hair, I hold him close to me, crying out in pleasure. We stay like that for what seems like forever until Riley moves his hands to my shoulders and anchors me to him.

"Are you close?" he pants.

"Yeah," I murmur.

Riley swallows before saying, "Touch yourself."

I nod, snaking my hand between us to my sex, rubbing circles around my clit.

As my walls clench around Riley's hardness, he groans and speeds up his movements, yet it's not erratically. He manages to be attentive with me even when he's trying to push us both over the edge, which happens much quicker than I expected. I tremble in his arms as we kiss, swallowing each other's cries as our encounter comes to an end.

Breaking away from our kiss a few moments later, I lean my forehead against his and close my eyes. We're both silent until I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

"Alice thinks we should get married."

Riley chuckles forlornly. "Maybe we should."

"We _totally_ should."

"It wouldn't work, B," he sighs. "We'd ultimately become unhappy."

"_Why?"_

"Because we'd be in love with different people."

**-O-**

Riley and I eventually make it back to the ballroom, and despite the fact that we were gone for a while, the party is in full swing. I, however, am not in the mood to deal with any more people, so I head back to Riley's room after kissing my father goodnight.

Just as I'm about to take off my earrings, there's a knock on the door. I smile as I walk to open it, chuckling as I say, "Did you forget you could come into your own room without knocking, Riley?"

My smile falters when I realize it's not him.

It's Edward.

He doesn't give me a chance to close the door before he steps inside and locks it.

"_What are you doing here?"_ I hiss.

"I think I should ask _you_ that question, don't you think?" he spits. "What the _fuck_ were you thinking when you brought that motherfucker here with you, huh? Or better yet, what are you doing sleeping with him and sneaking off together to God knows where?!"

My mind spins with rage at his audacity. "Are you seriously throwing a hissy fit because I brought my friend with me to _your _engagement party? You're fucking unbelievable!" I cry. "You have no idea of all the bullshit I'm going through right now, Edward! So, maybe, instead of being an insensitive and jealous prick, you should be thankful that Riley is here to support me like the true friend he is!"

Edward pales as my words set in, causing him to rush to my side. "I'm so sorry, Bella," he murmurs as he takes my face in his hands. "But I've been going mad thinking about you with him—God, _so _mad."

It is then that he must notice I'm still buzzed from my high because he freezes. "Is that what you were doing when you two took off?" he asks, implying the obvious as he raises his brow.

"Are you going to lecture me if I say yes?" I ask dryly.

"No, not at all," he sighs. "I… I just want to understand what's going on."

"There's nothing going on, okay?"

Edward nods before kissing me roughly all of a sudden. Any other time, I would enjoy it, but this kiss feels wrong. There is no tenderness to it; it's simply a claim. It's Edward trying to make sure that I know I belong to him, which he proves by his next words.

"Promise me that you're mine, baby," he pleads. "Promise me that you're _only_ mine."

But I can't promise him that. It wouldn't be fair. Why should I promise to be only his when he can't be only mine?

I shake my head. "I think you should return to your engagement party—go back to Alice. Go back to her and leave me alone. Leave me alone for good."

* * *

**I told you my characters did things you wouldn't like...**


	5. I Want To Burn with You Tonight

**Still with me? I hope so!**

**Disclaimer: **The author does not own any publicly recognizable characters herein. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**Chapter Five: I Want To Burn with You Tonight**

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**Santa Catalina Island – Summer, 2011**

* * *

Staying away from Edward proved to be more difficult than I thought. After the argument we had, I stopped answering his calls. At first, he was persistent, calling me up to three times a day, but as the weeks passed, his calls diminished to once a week.

During the three months that we've been apart, though, he hasn't given up, which makes forgetting what we had almost impossible. Sure, I've been crazy busy with the wedding preparations—because somehow, Alice thinks that helping her with wedding planning is part of my duties—but he's always been there in the back of my mind.

So, today, when he calls me, I finally cave and answer almost immediately.

"Hello?"

"Bella," Edward sighs in relief. "Thank you for answering my call."

"What do you want?" I ask bluntly.

"I need to see you."

"What do you need to see me for?"

"I miss you."

My heart beats faster after his confession, but I don't let it show. At least not when I reply, "I'm not sure _I'm_ exactly what you miss."

"_Baby_," Edward pleads, "you know that this isn't simply about _being_ with you. If it were—if I simply wanted to take someone to bed—I would have stopped calling you a long time ago."

His words don't give me the peace he probably expected me to feel. They only serve to make me more wary of everything.

I close my eyes and sigh. "Then what do you really want?"

"I want so many things, but most importantly, I just need to know that things with us are okay."

"They're fine."

"No, they're not," he counters. "I _royally_ fucked up with you, and I want to make up for it."

"By doing what?"

"_Anything_."

"Edward... I... I don't know."

"_Please_. Just give me a chance."

I don't have the willpower to say no anymore, so I give in easily. "Okay."

"Thank you," he says in relief. "I promise I won't let you down."

Unfortunately, I can't promise him the same.

**-O-**

After almost two weeks of daily phone calls, Edward finally asks me if we can see each other. I readily agree, of course, until he tells me that he wants to take me somewhere. I don't protest, though; I just keep my thoughts and fears to myself.

Because if I know anything with certainty, it's that our trip will change everything. This knowledge is always nagging at me, even as I drive to the airport to meet Edward, but as soon as I see him, everything else banishes.

He looks so different and yet the same. His hair is a bit longer and he looks a little tired, but his beard is intact and it drives me wild. Well, it's not only his beard which causes that. It's the casual clothes he's wearing that make him look so much younger, and if possible, even more good looking. Edward greets me with a searing kiss and a crooked smile, along with promises of a good time.

Afterward, we depart on a private plane for a five-hour flight to Santa Catalina Island. The weather is perfect for a summer day when we land at noon, so Edward and I have a small lunch at our hotel. We then take a tour around the island, enjoying and appreciating the sights it has to provide.

When it's time for dinner, we head back to our suite for a quick shower and go out to a small Italian restaurant we spotted during our outing. Following our meal, we go to a movie at the Avalon Theatre to make our date night perfect. I'm so absorbed in Edward's attention that I completely forget there are people around us until a couple of teen girls giggle when they see us holding hands.

Edward proves to be a true romantic throughout the day, kissing me whenever he has the chance while also hugging me or holding my hand. He looks at me with the utmost devotion, making me feel as if I'm the only woman in the world who's ever been cherished this way. I don't know what brought on this demeanor, but it follows us into the bedroom when we finally call it a day.

Everything is different throughout our sexual encounter—from the gentle kisses on my lips and body to the way he moves inside me. This time, there is no rush, only patience and tenderness; loud cries are replaced by hushed whispers between kisses and soft thrusts. There is no declaration of love, but I can feel it burning within me as it sears from his skin to mine. I can feel it in his gaze, too, and while it terrifies me to no end, I relish in it if only for the night.

**-O-**

"Tell me something about yourself that I don't know," Edward requests as we lie in bed the following morning, soaking up the sun that filters through our suite's window. His arm is wrapped around me while I lay my head on his shoulder and snuggle into his left side.

I take a moment to think about my response; a million thoughts cross my mind with his words. They're mostly negative, but I push them all to the side and reply the one thing I know will surprise him.

"I have a business degree from Columbia University."

"_You do_?" he asks incredulously.

"Yeah, I graduated last year, actually. And it's also the reason why I moved to New York in the first place."

"I would have never imagined that."

"I figured."

"Have you taken a moment to figure out if you want to do anything with it?"

I sigh. "Not really, although I wouldn't mind opening a business—something small—just for the fun of it, you know? It would have to be something that I am passionate about."

"Such as?" he prompts.

"Maybe a bakery with an integrated café? That would be fun, but it's kind of a cliché business at this point."

"So, if that's out, what else you would like to do?"

My eyes cloud as I confess the one thing I've never told anyone—not even Riley.

"I'd like to set up a flower shop in memory of my mother. She always tended the garden in our home, so that would be one way to honor her."

That would have to be in a very distant future, though, because as of now, I am not ready to deal with the pain that her loss has caused me. I am not ready to face the consequences that her death provoked. I dealt with them once and it only served to destroy me.

"Which were her favorite flowers?" Edward asks, holding me tighter to him in comfort.

"Tiger Lillies," I respond. "She liked all colors, but she preferred orange ones the most."

"Those flowers are beautiful," Edward comments.

"Yeah," I sigh. "But enough about me, tell me something about yourself that I don't know about yet?"

"Like what?"

"Like your age, for example."

"My age? _What about my age?"_ he asks mischievously.

"Oh, I don't know… maybe how old you are to figure out how much time I have to save for senior diapers?"

"You're a smartass!" he jokes.

"What else is new? Not you, though," I chuckle.

Edward suddenly shifts, hovering above me in almost a second. Placing his arms above my head, he cages me in his embrace and inclines to give me a kiss that turns into a playful bite. I take the opportunity to snake my hands up to the nape of his neck and scratch his scalp. Edward closes his eyes and leans into my touch, kissing one of my wrists in the process.

"Have I ever told you how much I love your beard?" I say out of the blue.

Edward snickers. "No, but I can tell, especially when I go down on you."

I flush at his words. "Yeah, that's something that I kinda, really enjoy a lot."

"And I kinda, really enjoy doing it a lot, just so you know."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He leans down and pecks my lips before saying, "I'm thirty-four, by the way."

Thirty-four. So, he's thirteen years older than I am and nine years older than Alice is.

God, thinking about her while we're like this causes a barrage of emotions ranging from misery to fury as well as helplessness to bubble up inside of me. It must be what motivates me to ask Edward the question that has been plaguing my mind since I met him.

Exhaling deeply, I take the plunge. "Edward, can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me _anything_, Baby," he replies, gazing into my eyes.

"Okay, but please be honest with me, yeah?"

Edward nods. "Yeah—always."

"Why did you ask Alice to marry you?"

I think he'd been waiting for me to ask him that, because his reply is immediate.

"I did it out of loneliness and nothing more. Alice was the first person to be there for me in a long while, which was what I needed at that moment, so we just kind of fell into a relationship, but it was never like this—not like what you and I have." He sighs, looking a bit troubled. "It eventually became more serious, and when Alice began hinting that she wanted us to move in together, I thought it was the most logical step."

"So, you proposed," I state.

"It wasn't even like that." Edward smiles ruefully, shaking his head. "I just took her to Tiffany's and told her to pick a ring."

"And she probably picked the most expensive one they had," I add snidely.

"Not the most expensive, yet close. But let's not talk about that anymore, okay?"

Sighing, I nod. "Okay."

"I've got a better idea for what we can do for the following hour, instead," he says before silencing me with an ardent kiss.

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**


	6. I've Never Played A Fair Game

**Disclaimer: **The author does not own any publicly recognizable characters herein. No copyright infringement is intended.

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**Chapter Six: I've Never Played a Fair Game**

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**New York – Summer, 2011**

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Returning to New York after our weekend in Catalina is the harshest reality check for me. Alice's wedding is in a few weeks, so there is a lot to go over before her big day to make sure it's perfect. Being the great friend that he is, Riley offers to do everything for me since I have been an emotional wreck. I decline, though, aware that I just have to suck it up.

However, my anxiety spikes when Alice unexpectedly appears at my house once again. When she arrives, we take a seat in my living room and briefly talk about the wedding before she drops a bomb on me.

"Edward is cheating on me," Alice says nonchalantly.

"Are you sure? Maybe you're just imagining things," I say, hopeful that it's true. It would break my heart to know that aside from Alice, Edward had played me, too.

"Oh, no, I'm sure," she scoffs. "I knew that it was going on for a while, but things changed after he decided to spend his birthday with his side-piece this past weekend."

As I hear those words, my heart drops.

She's talking about me.

"How do you know?" is all I can think to say.

"That's simple: I hired someone to follow him around _that_ weekend, but I know of _every _time he was with you," Alice finally admits.

I am rendered speechless. All I can do is stare at her as I feel my world comes crashing down.

"_Well?"_ she prompts. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

"You already know everything, so what do you want me to say?" I retort.

"That you're going to leave him—_that's_ what I want to hear you say _and_ do."

"Alice," I begin, shaking my head. "He's going to leave _me_ when he marries you."

It's a sad truth that I have learned to accept, but I've done it nonetheless.

"I want to make sure that it's over, so you better think of a way to end this or it'll cost you."

"What the fuck are you talking about, Alice?" I snap.

"I'm saying that if you don't stop seeing Edward, I'm going to tell Dad about your little addiction to Xanax—the one you've had since Mom died."

"Mom didn't die!" I roar. "_She killed herself_."

"She was going to die anyway," Alice counters calmly.

I, on the other hand, am losing my sanity. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to regain my composure. "There's a big difference between dying from terminal cancer and committing suicide," I argue. "If she'd died naturally, I wouldn't have had to deal with all the gossip that I did at school. You don't know about it, because you'd already left for college."

"Why can't you get over it already?" Alice has the audacity to say. "I know that it hurts, but life goes on."

"Yeah, well, maybe if I were an insensitive bitch like you I would," I spit. "I mean, you're only causing all this drama because it hurts your pride that I've been with Edward. You don't even love him."

"I knew I was right when I presumed you were doing this to get back at me for what I did to you with Emmett," my sister snarls, pointing her finger at me.

"Not everything is about you, Alice," I say. "Get over yourself already!"

"Then what is it about, Bella? It definitely isn't because Edward is in love with you; otherwise, he would have called off the wedding a long time ago."

Her words feel like a slap across my face; they wound and break me in all the right places just like she knew they would. Her reasoning has haunted me for months, yet I know for a fact that he does love me. What puzzles me the most is why he hasn't fought for me—for us. If he's not willing to do it, then neither will I, and even though I may love Edward, my love for my dad is much stronger.

He doesn't deserve the heartache that will come with the knowledge of just how deep I'm into my addiction.

So, I do it for him.

I agree to sacrifice my love for my father's happiness. It's the least I can do for the man who has already suffered so much.

**-=O=-**

After Alice leaves, I spend a lot of hours thinking about what to do. Since I don't have much time left to carry out my plan, I know it has to be infallible. There are a couple of options that I consider, but only one of them becomes the most obvious route to take.

Once I decide what I'm going to do, I share my plan with Riley. He doesn't agree with it at first, insisting that I should just come clean about everything, but that is simply not an option. Alice is relentless, so she'd eventually find a way to fuck me over for what I've done. There is no way she's letting me get away with having an affair with Edward without some kind of comeuppance. Riley ultimately agrees to help me, so all that's left to do is wait for the day that Edward comes to New York to visit me.

Fortunately, we don't have to wait for long since Edward calls me in the middle of the week to let me know that he'll visit me on the weekend. Those two days are complete torture for me, though. I spend my time between feeling relieved that I'm going to be successful and feeling heartbroken because it's going to cost me so much.

The day of Edward's arrival finally comes around and Riley and I get ready. He shows up at my place about two hours before Edward does, bringing along with him everything we'll need.

Afterward, Riley and I take a seat in my living room and get everything started. He takes out a glass pipe and some of the best pot you can find in New York before we start to take a few hits, mellowing me out instantly.

I snuggle into Riley beside me on the couch and close my eyes.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Belly Pop?" he whispers.

"Yeah."

"Okay," he sighs. "Let me just put this away."

I nod and lean back against the couch while he does so, waiting for him to return. Once he takes a seat next to me again, Riley takes my face in his hands and says, "You can tell me to stop at any time, okay? We don't have to go through with it if you feel uncomfortable."

Instead of replying, I lean forward and begin kissing Riley. He responds in kind, shifting our bodies on the couch until he's hovering above me. We start making out in earnest then and it's just like old times all over again.

Our hands roam each other's bodies and pretty soon we start removing our garments. When Riley's down to his boxers, and I'm only wearing my t-shirt and panties, things get more intense.

Riley snakes his hand between our bodies and into my underwear, making me moan as he thrusts his fingers into me. I'm so lost in the sensation that I don't even hear when Edward enters the apartment. I only notice his presence when he's pulling Riley off of me.

"What the fuck is going on here, Bella?!" he roars.

Riley chuckles sardonically. "I don't think you really need us to explain what's going on since it's pretty fucking obvious."

Edward turns to glare at him, saying, "This is none of your business."

"It is my business because you're talking to _my_ girl," Riley retorts.

Edward seems bewildered, looking back and forth to Riley and me. He shakes his head before addressing me. "What the fuck is he talking about?"

I exhale deeply and shake my head. "Why can't you just believe what he's saying?"

"You said he was your best friend, Bella! You told me that you were _only_ friends, goddammit!" he says throwing his hands in the air.

"I lied."

"No, that can't be true," Edward spits. "I can't believe that-especially not after our weekend together."

"Bella, why don't you just tell him the truth?" Riley prompts.

This causes Edward to finally lunge at Riley and punch him in the face. Riley doesn't hold back and responds to the attack, punching Edward as well. When they're close to a full-on fight, I miraculously manage to get between them.

I turn to face Edward and sigh. "I don't love you, Edward, despite that you might think that. All of this," I say, pointing between us, "was part of a plan to get back at Alice for sleeping with my first boyfriend when we were kids. I thought I could get you to leave her, but my plan failed, so there's no use in continuing this charade."

Edward gazes down, threading his fingers into his hair only to tug on it. "You used me?" He shakes his head and looks up at me. "You _fucking_ used me," he whispers.

"I did," I reply, nodding as I try to hold my emotions at bay, "But it's all over now, so why don't you just forget that this ever happened? Go back to your mediocre life and forget about me."

My words seem to fuel Edward's fury, causing him to lash out. "Fuck you," he sneers before turning to leave.

I stay in place, holding Riley's hand as I call out to Edward.

"Don't forget to leave my key by the mantle on your way out."

Edward doesn't reply anything. He simply takes out his keys and removes the one to my apartment before placing it where I asked.

Riley wraps his arms around me, trying to hold me together, but it's too late. I am already broken beyond repair. Fuck, I already was to begin with, but I don't regret anything. This sacrifice has been worth everything.

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**


	7. I've Got Thick Skin and an Elastic Heart

**Disclaimer: **The author does not own any publicly recognizable characters herein. No copyright infringement is intended.

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**Chapter Seven: I've Got Thick Skin and an Elastic Heart**

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**Forks – Summer, 2011**

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I spend the following weeks wallowing in self-pity, lounging around my place in my pajamas while Riley pampers me, but I then decide that enough is enough. Things could have been different, but Edward never gave me my place, so why should I feel bad for putting him down?

Changing my outlook about the situation, I mentally prepare myself for the impending wedding that will still take place this weekend. That only fuels the anger and resentment I feel toward Alice and Edward more, because what kind of fucked up people get married after all the shit that went down?

Riley and I return to Forks for the wedding rehearsal tonight, but neither one of us speaks to Edward. If anyone notices, nobody mentions anything. The highlight of this weekend is that Jasper finally made it home, so I'm going to get to spend time with him.

Alice behaves as if nothing has happened; as if she didn't show up at my house to threaten me or as if her future husband didn't cheat on her throughout their engagement, but I guess that's fine with her. She doesn't care as long as she gets the prize, making her just like Rosalie.

Maybe now those two will become great friends since they have something in common.

As I roll my eyes, Jasper appears by side. "At whom are you rolling your eyes, Little Sister?"

"At all the people in this ballroom," I say, circling my finger. "Well, except you, Riley and my father. Everyone else can go die in a fire."

"Yeah, I wouldn't wish that specifically, but I really don't care about this charade," he grumbles.

"It's unbelievable, right?"

"Definitely." He nods. "I give them a year tops."

"Nah, Older Brother," I counter, shaking my head. "Those two are perfect for one another."

"So, the rumors are true," Jasper observes. "You and Edward don't get along with each other."

Oh, if he only knew.

"Who told you that?"

"Our father."

"Oh," is my only response.

"Old Man Charlie said that you threw one of your epic tantrums when y'all met?"

"It wasn't a tantrum, alright? I just called everyone out on their bullshit. But hey, I was here while you were off in Paris fucking the dime girls that pose for you." I place my hands under my face and flutter my lashes. "Oh, Jack, I want you to draw me like one of your French girls," I say in an overly flirty tone.

My brother laughs, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "I missed you, Midget."

"And I missed you, Giant," I sigh. "Things are always so much better when you're here."

"You should move to Paris with me," he suggests. "We'd have a ball."

"That would be great, but what about Riley? I can't leave my Boo."

Jasper looks over at me, raising his brow. "What's up with you and Riley? Are you two together _together_ or are you just fuck buddies?"

"Way to be blunt, Jas," I note.

He shrugs. "Why beat around the bush?"

Nodding, I sigh. "Yeah, that's true. But to answer your question, Riley and I are just different. He's like my buddy soul mate, if that makes any sense. I don't know what I would do without him."

"Ask him to move with you," Jasper proposes. "I bet he'd say yes."

I smile and lean my head on his shoulder. "I'll think about it."

**-O-**

The following morning, Rosalie, Alice and I get ready for the big day. I didn't want to do it with them, but the hairdresser and makeup artist suggested we all do it together to save time. Rosalie looks strikingly beautiful, and even if it hurts me to admit it a bit, Alice looks more gorgeous than she ever has. Her strapless, lace gown accentuates her curves with its siren cut as her hair cascades down her back. Her makeup is flawless, and the jewelry she chose to wear belonged to our mother, so that adds to her natural beauty.

Rosalie and I are dressed in yellow lace dresses since it's a summer-themed wedding. In our hands, we carry Tiger Lilly flowers in various shades, which are tied together with white ribbon to form our bouquets. Everything in the manor's ballroom looks beautiful and impeccable since Riley and I made sure that everything was taken care of to the last detail.

As we begin walking toward the altar, I look directly into Edward's eyes, showing him how truly unaffected I am about what's going on.

If you'd asked me a month ago if I was sad about the wedding, I would have said yes. Today, though, I bid Edward good riddance. I was being completely honest when I told Jasper that Edward and Alice deserve each other. Beside the fact that she's marrying him because of materialistic reasons, she's also doing it to hurt me—to prove to me that she always has the upper hand. And Edward, well, he is marrying her just fill a hole in his heart.

They're both selfish and callous.

I feel no pity for them and their certain unhappiness.

Reaching my place beside Alice, I take a deep breath and look away from Edward.

The ceremony begins shortly after, and everything is fine until the preacher asks Edward to repeat the vows he's just said.

Edward remains silent for a moment before looking up at Alice. "I'm sorry, but I can't do this," he tells her. "I can't marry you when I'm in love with somebody else, even if that person doesn't deserve my love."

I stiffen as I hear his words while Alice becomes furious and slaps him across the face. "You don't get to do this to me!" she rages. "I forgave you for everything that happened with my sister, and this is how you repay me?"

"I'm sorry," he says again. "But this feels wrong—it _is_ wrong—and I just can't do it."

After that, he steps down from the altar and walks out of the room.

Alice turns to face me, pointing her finger in my face. "This is all your fault!" she accuses as she begins to cry. "If you hadn't gotten into his head and into his bed, Edward would be marrying _me_!"

Riley and Jasper are immediately at my side, trying to protect me from her wrath. My father is now trying to hold my sister back, too, but I step forward and face her head on.

"No, this is all on you," I tell her. "You reap what you sow, and all that."

"I hate you!" she screams.

"The feeling is absolutely mutual," I spit.

"Bella, calm down," Jasper pleads. "She's not worth it."

She really isn't, so I allow him and Riley to lead me back to my house. And after we enter it, for the first time in what feels like forever, I head over to my own room.

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**


	8. You Went Straight For the Knife

Okay, so we're all caught up with the contest entry! This chapter is for anyone who ever wondered what was going on through Edward's mind. Just a little warning? It's a little heart-wrenching, so be prepared to get some feels.

**Disclaimer:** The author does not own any publicly recognizable characters herein. No copyright infringement is intended.

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**Chapter Eight: You Went Straight For the Knife**

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**Forks – Summer, 2011**

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I remember the day I first met Bella Swan so clearly it's as if it were happening again.

She walked into the bar of the hotel I was staying at like she owned the place. Bella oozed confidence, and maybe even a little bit of arrogance, which made her hot as hell.

So, to say that I was entranced by her would be putting it mildly.

I tried not to stare at her, but it was impossible. Bella kept drawing me back in, and it didn't help matters that she locked gazes with me more than once. But the moment she walked over to me, I was doomed. Bella was straight to the point and lethal, propositioning me almost immediately. I tried to say no—to stay away from her because of the compromise I had with Alice—but it was all pointless.

Bella won.

I had a debauched night with her, and the following morning, I couldn't say goodbye. I must have spent at least fifteen minutes watching her sleep before I found the courage to give her a small kiss.

We shared a few words and then I left only to be tormented by my thoughts. When I returned to my room, I spent over an hour considering what I was going to do. Would I tell Alice or just keep the secret to myself?

Still unsure of my decision, I headed to the airport to pick Alice up. When I saw how excited she was to see me, I decided to keep quiet about my recklessness and simply went about with our original plans to meet her family.

Then _everything_ went to shit.

I found out that Bella was Alice's sister, which is something that I would have never imagined given that Alice hardly spoke about her family. Whenever she did, Alice referred to Bella as her little sister. Also, Bella went on a tirade after finding out about our engagement, which made me aware of Alice's previous marriages. God, I felt like such an idiot. The worst part of all was that Bella took off immediately, leaving us to deal with the aftermath.

Alice and Bella's father apologized to me, saying that his youngest daughter was known to be overly dramatic, so I shouldn't take her outburst personally. I didn't, actually, because Bella had all the right to lash out at me and she didn't. I couldn't stay there, though, so I asked Alice if we could head back to the hotel. She agreed immediately, claiming that her day had already been ruined, so there was no point in celebrating anymore.

Once we left her father's home, I asked Alice if there was anything more to know about her, yet she claimed that there was nothing else. Confused about everything, I dropped her off at the hotel and continued driving for over an hour while a million thoughts crossed my mind.

_Would Bella tell Alice about our encounter? _

_Would Alice forgive me for sleeping with her sister?_

_Could I return to my solitary life? _No, that wasn't an option.

I headed back to the hotel, intent on asking Bella to keep quiet, but what happened when I arrived at her suite was completely different. As would become the norm, Bella brought out of me a primal need to consume her. I went wild, fucking her with reckless abandon—not once, but twice.

When it was all said and done, I returned to my room, to Alice, and began my confession. Whatever happened afterward was ultimately up to her.

_._

_._

_._

_I open my suite and find Alice sitting on the couch, waiting for my return._

"_So?" she prompts. "Did you decide what to do?"_

_Exhaling, I nod. "I did, but before I tell you which decision I took, there's something else that I need to talk to you about."_

_Alice raises her brow, crossing her arms. _"Is there?"

"_Yes," I reply. "And I'll completely understand if you decide to end our engagement."_

_"Okay."_

_"This really doesn't have to change anything between us, alright?"_

"_Edward, just tell me already," she says, exasperatedly._

"_Bella and I spent the night together," I confess, gauging her reaction. _

_Alice seems composed, despite the fact that I just admitted doing something awful._

"_When?" is all she asks._

"_Last night, but I didn't know she was your sister—not that it makes any difference—but I guess if I'd known, I wouldn't have done it," I ramble._

"_Have you cheated on me with anyone else?" _

"_No," I sigh. "I hadn't even conceived the thought of such a thing."_

_Alice nods. "Did she approach you?"_

"_I should have said no," I deflect._

"_Yes, you should have, but I also know my sister," Alice exhales. "She's very determined once she wants something."_

_I scrub my hands over my face and sigh. "I'm sorry, Ali."_

"_Do you have feelings for her?" Alice inquires._

"_No," I scoff. "What happened between Bella and me was purely physical."_

"_Then it doesn't matter," she states. "As long as it doesn't happen again, we can put it past us."_

"_How can you be so calm about this?" I question. "This has been driving me mad all day!"_

_Alice sighs. "I'm _trying_ to be composed about this, Edward, because if you're willing to overlook the fact that I lied to you by omission—about an important part of my past—I too can overlook your indiscretion."_

"So, the wedding is on?" _I ask, raising my brow._

"_The wedding is on," she confirms. "Just make sure that it doesn't happen again—_that_ I wouldn't be able to forgive. And you'd both pay for it; I'd make sure of that."_

"_It won't," I promise, but even as I do, I know I'm lying. _

_I had already dishonored her with Bella again, and it wouldn't be long until I felt tempted to be with her once more._

_._

_._

_._

Despite my conversation with Alice, and most importantly the fact that what I was doing was wrong, I sought Bella out. She readily agreed to spend a weekend with me, yet one weekend became three in the months that preceded my engagement party. Bella was akin to a drug, having me crave her as if I needed a fix; all I ever did was think about being with her. The situation got to the point where I began to neglect my relationship with Alice, but that was another matter all on its own.

As it was, I didn't find myself in love with Alice. Sure, we were going to get married, but we both knew that it was more out of convenience from the beginning. When we met, Alice and I were physically attracted to each other, yet we didn't fall into bed immediately. We did go out on dates with mutual acquaintances, which is how we met in the first place. We got to know each other a bit more, but we somehow had an unspoken rule about being intimate. I wouldn't necessarily consider Alice as being a friend, especially because we both had ulterior motives behind the bond we were forming, but I did share my worries and sorrows with her.

Consequently, Alice helped me deal with my grandmother's recent passing because her death hit me pretty hard. After losing my parents in an accident when I was thirteen, she was the only family I had. From that point on, she raised me as she raised my father once: alone but with enough love to share as if it were from an entire family. We were obviously by each other's side through thick and thin, but when I finished my undergrad, I had to place her in a nursing home. Her health had taken a turn for the worse by then and I was already working and travelling all the time, so I needed someone to take care of her for me.

I barely got to see her as the time progressed while I finished all my studies. So, when she passed away, I felt immense guilt for not having visited her or spent more time together. As the weeks passed by, I became very depressed, but then Alice came into the picture and she brightened up my days, if only by a little. It was definitely better than nothing, so after dating for some time, Alice suggested that we move in together. That, in turn, caused me to commit the biggest mistake of my life: I told her we should just get married.

I did it mostly for her companionship, but also out of gratitude. She'd been there for me when I had nobody else, so it was the least I could do, thinking that we'd work out because we were both lonesome in some way. Things changed, though, once I met Bella. Yet, I couldn't actually tell Alice that I was breaking off our engagement because I liked her sister better.

Also, there was the issue of Bella's non-committal stance on pretty much everything. So, how could I risk everything for someone who wouldn't give me anything in return?

What I hadn't become aware of was just how manipulative Alice could be.

After some time, I realized that's exactly what she'd done the night we arrived at her father's home for our engagement party—beguiled me, I mean.

.

.

.

"_Did you hear that?" Alice asks me, although it's futile since I didn't really hear anything. _

_We're currently in bed and supposed to be asleep, but I guess we're both tense from the knowledge that we're having the engagement party tomorrow. I understand why I'd be nervous by the prospect of being surrounded by strangers and announcing my marriage to a woman whom I don't love. But Alice? I don't get why she'd be anxious._

"_I knew it wouldn't take long for Bella to sneak into Riley's room," she hisses._

_At that, I turn to face her. "What are you talking about?" I snap._

"_Oh, Edward, _please_. Bella and Riley have been sleeping together _forever_," Alice scoffs. "Besides, why are you so upset about it?"_

"_I'm not," I reply defensively. "I just can't believe that Bella would do that while being at your father's house."_

"_You obviously don't know her at all," she argues. "Bella's fucked Riley in plain daylight because that's how sex-crazed they are with each other."_

"_How do you know that?" I ask, incredulous. _

"_They got caught in the act when Bella brought him over for Christmas break a couple of years ago," Alice informs me. "They were supposed to go to the supermarket for some eggnog, yet they somehow ended up having sex behind an abandoned strip mall. The cops took them in, but one phone call from my father resolved their little problem."_

"_Wow," is all I'm able to say._

"_Yeah," Alice adds. "And you know what else is unbelievable? How long it's been since _we've_ had sex."_

_Fuck, I've been dreading that she would mention it, especially since I didn't want to have sex with her this weekend—not with Bella so close._

"_Alice, I don't think we should—" I begin before Alice gets on her knees and straddles me._

"_You don't think that we should have sex while we stay here?" she inquires, raising her brow at me. "If Bella and Riley can do it, why can't we?"_

_That's all it takes to spur me into action, and while I might feel like shit for doing it, fucking Alice helps me release all the frustration I feel due to this ridiculous situation. I take her rough and hard, overcome with murderous rage which is caused by my thoughts of Bella doing just the same in the next room. As if that weren't bad enough, I imagine _Bella_ underneath me—_her _feeling my wrath as I pound into Alice._

_There is no kindness in my touch or in my kisses, and the only sounds emanating from both of us are animalistic, removing any possible romantic notions to our encounter. Our fucking is simply a means to get off and to prove some unknown point that has been set by one another. When we finish, we lay silently in bed, each one lost in our thoughts._

_If I hadn't been able to relax before, now it's impossible._

_Now, I worry that maybe I got too carried away and it'll backfire on me, but it is too late to take it back._

_There is no way to undo what just happened._

**.**

**.**

**.**

Another thing that occurred that weekend was grasping how deep my feelings for Bella were.

For a long time, I think I lied to myself. I only considered Bella as someone I could fuck and have fun with because that's the type of person that she portrayed herself to be. When it came down to the truth, though, Bella was everything I wanted and didn't know I needed.

Perhaps what propelled me to come to this conclusion was seeing her with Riley. With that fucker, Bella was a completely different person. She laughed, relaxed, and smiled all the time, which was a huge contrast to the Bella I knew. When we were together, we had fun, but she almost always seemed to be on edge. So, imagine how I must have felt when they both joked around with her father and his wife.

I was livid on the inside, but on the outside, I acted as if I didn't give a shit.

There was nothing I could say or do without giving away what was going on between Bella and me, so I waited for a perfect moment to speak to her alone. That proved to be torturous, though, because while Riley and Bella were inseparable, Alice was on my tail during the entire engagement party. I needed to ask Bella what was going on between them—not that I didn't have an idea—but mostly because I needed to know where _we_ stood.

Being without her didn't seem like a possibility anymore, which bewildered me even more than I already was. That may have been the reason why I put all common sense to the back of my mind and used the excuse of going to the restroom in order to seek Bella out. I had almost reached her when I saw that Riley beat me to it, so instead of approaching Bella, I stayed in my place and watched what they did next.

I shouldn't have been surprised, but seeing them sneaking off together was like a punch to my gut. There was literally nothing I could do but wait, once again, until their return. When they finally emerged about an hour later, Bella immediately walked over to her father to kiss him goodnight, so that made me suspicious.

_What had happened while she'd been gone with Riley?_ That was another inquiry that added itself to the pile of interrogatives running through my already-troubled mind.

Without a second thought, I excused myself from the group that Alice and I were speaking to, and went over to Riley's room. Undoubtedly, Bella was the one to answer me the door. Before she could lock me out, I entered the room and blocked her from attempting to exit, locking the door behind us myself. She was clearly upset about my abrupt entrance, incredulous that I'd have the gall to question her about Riley's presence that weekend.

Bella had every right to feel that way, and while I knew that what I was doing was wrong on so many levels, I couldn't stop myself. She assured me that nothing was going on between them, but that was only partially true. They had a physical relationship, which I could discern by how covered in his scent Bella was. However, I didn't mention anything because it was also clear that they'd gotten high together.

I told myself that maybe that had clouded her judgment and allowed her to have sex with him while we were under the same roof. I told myself that I had no right to throw it in her face because, just the previous night, I had done the same with Alice. Most importantly, though, I told myself that she'd done it because we weren't emotionally committed to one another.

I had to change that. I had to make sure that she knew she was mine, but that completely backfired on me. Bella asked me to leave her alone, causing the first effects of distress I would endure during our relationship.

"_Our relationship,"_ I scoff as I twirl Alice's would-be wedding band between my fingers. I've been doing it for almost the past hour since I arrived at the hotel I stayed at when I first met Bella. I'm not staying in the same room, so I guess I have to thank God for small favors, right?

Groaning, I lie back on the bed where I've been sitting and scrub my face, closing my eyes.

_How did everything get so fucked up?_

I know the answer to that, but I don't even want to think about it because it makes my heart ache all over again.

Things with Bella were going perfect once we rekindled our romance and went to Catalina Island for my birthday. That weekend, I almost confessed my feelings to her, but I refrained from doing so in fear that I would only manage to push her away. During my time with Bella, I learned that she was very volatile; almost as dangerous as a grenade which could go off the instant she was pushed for more.

I thought a lot about what to do after that weekend, but then the answer was perfectly clear: I had to break up with Alice. Even if things didn't work out with Bella immediately, I had to let her know how important she was to me without putting any pressure on her. What I never expected, though, was to learn that I was simply a pawn in her game.

Bella played me through and through.

She confessed it when I was going to tell her I was calling off the wedding. The truth was obviously devastating, but the way that I found out was atrocious.

The memories of that fateful night flash behind my eyes, causing me to close them tighter in an attempt to stop them, yet I can't. Seeing Bella with Riley will be a memory I can relive without even trying. It's embedded in my brain and seared in my heart.

Afterward, for the first time in a long while, I cried. I'm not ashamed to admit it because anyone who's had his or her heart broken does it, so why should I be the exception? Just because I'm a man doesn't mean that I don't have feelings. If anything, the pressure to keep our shit together is greater because of that same reason. Everyone just expects men to pretend as if nothing happened, but I couldn't do that.

There were moments where I wondered if maybe Bella had pushed me away because she'd been afraid of the feelings she'd developed for me. I _knew_ she had them because I felt her reciprocate my affection when we made love after our date night on the island. While that made me very happy, it also terrified me.

Aside from the drama that could ensue if Bella and I attempted to have a normal relationship, I also worried that our age difference could be a conflict between us. An age gap of thirteen years seemed so outrageous when thought about it as a quantity, yet I never saw it that way.

_Maybe Bella did?_

I open my eyes and stare ahead at the ceiling, wondering so many pointless things as they cross my mind. One of those thoughts being why Alice didn't seem to mind me being so distracted from the final activities for our failed wedding. Also, I couldn't disguise my heartbreak from her even if I'd tried. It's as if she knew what was going on with me—which wouldn't surprise me in the least if she did—and she didn't even care.

Maybe being heartless was a family thing. Maybe Alice and Bella are more alike than I thought.

If that weren't the case, then I couldn't even begin to comprehend why Bella would be as non-affected as she was this morning when she was walking toward the altar. The sneer on her face as she locked gazes with me will probably always haunt me. It's the reason why I didn't go along with the atrocity of marrying Alice.

I didn't want to see Bella ever again, but most importantly, I didn't want to become someone as heartless as her or her sister. I couldn't spend the rest of my life next to someone I don't love just to punish a woman who probably doesn't give a shit about me.

Now, I am alone again, just as I was before this madness unfolded. The only difference this time is knowing that solitude isn't such a terrible thing. Having your heart broken by the love of your life? Well, that is another story.

* * *

**The story will move forward from this point on now, although I don't know when I'll post the next chapter. I don't want to make any promises that I can't keep, but ****I'm aiming to post every other Friday, so we'll see how that goes! Meanwhile, lemme know what you think so far. Thank you so much for reading!**


	9. Tough Girl Whose Soul Aches

Hi! I know I said I was going to post on Friday, but a) the chapter is ready, b) I couldn't wait to post it, and c) it's been Friday in Australia for many hours, so technically, it's already Friday! ;)

But before we go on any further, I'd like to thank the following people:

**aywowww **and **maxandmo**: Thank you for taking the time to edit this story for me! It truly means a lot.

**tanglingshadows** and **allihavetodoisdream**: Thank you so much for your input when you pre-read! I seriously love reading your reactions. P.S. Lila, your reaction gifs are something I live for when you're done reading each chapter. Keep on gif'ing me, girl! ;)

Okay, so on to the story! This takes place after the end of chapter seven and the wedding debacle.

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Tough Girl Whose Soul Aches**

* * *

**Forks – Summer, 2011**

* * *

Being surrounded by childhood mementos and the comfort that my old room provides allows me to sleep for _hours_. I'm cloaked in darkness when I wake up, disoriented for a bit until I remember everything that happened, which led me here. Sighing, I turn in my bed and look up at the ceiling before scrubbing my face with both hands.

"I don't ever want to leave this room," I groan to myself before chuckling at the irony of my statement.

I never would have imagined saying that, but it seems that everything has changed. I don't know where I'm going to go from here, although I still owe my father an explanation, and I know that he'll be asking for it as soon as he can.

As if sensing that I've awakened, there's a knock on my door. "Bella, can I come in?" Rosalie asks.

_Rosalie?_ What the hell is she doing here? I have no desire to speak to her, but we are just starting to speak to each other on friendlier terms, so I agree.

I quickly sit up in my bed as Rosalie opens the door and pokes her head inside. "Are you sure it's okay to come in?" she asks, warily.

Nodding, I stretch a bit and scoot up so I'm sitting against my headboard. "What's up?" I ask Rosalie once she takes a seat on my bed.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that question?" she chuckles. "You caused quite the ruckus today. Well, this morning, because after you came upstairs, your sister had another of her typical meltdowns."

I frown. "Was Edward still here when it happened?"

"I tell you that your sister threw a fit and you ask me about her ex-fiancé," Rosalie muses. "It's very telling."

"Please," I scoff, rolling my eyes. "As if you didn't hear Alice _screaming_ at me this morning. Everyone knows that I'm a slut!"

"First of all," Rosalie begins. "Don't ever call yourself that—_ever_. Secondly, I already knew that something was going on between you and Edward before this whole drama unfolded."

Gasping, I blanch. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, Bella, you and Edward are _terrible_ at being discreet," she informs me. "I'm pretty sure that even Jasper knew Edward was more interested in you than your sister."

I shake my head, flabbergasted at her words. "God, everyone must think the worst of me," I cry. "I don't know how I'll ever be able to make this right."

"Well, for starters, I think that you need to focus on yourself first. Don't worry about what others may think, okay? Figure out what you're going to do with what's left of the situation."

_"Such as?"_

"What are you and Edward going to do now? Where are you two going to go from here?"

"I don't know," I sigh. "Edward hates me."

"I'm not quite sure I believe that," Rosalie alleges. "But let's say that he does—what are you going to do about it?"

"There really is nothing left to do." Shrugging, I scowl. "Besides, anything I say at this point is moot; Edward doesn't trust me anymore."

"Why?"

"I fucked everything up," I say as I toss my hair back. "I did something stupid and I can't take it back."

Rosalie crosses her arms. "I don't believe that, either. So, why don't you start telling me what you did? Maybe I can help you figure something out."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me, right?" Raising my brow, I scoff. _"You expect me to tell you about my problems when I don't even know you? _Unbelievable_."_

"And whose fault is that?" she counters. "I'm not the one who's avoided _you_ like the plague."

"You've got balls; you know that?" I chuckle.

Rosalie looks down briefly, smiling ruefully. "There's a lot that we don't know about each other," she laments. "I can't blame you for all of it, though. I really should have tried harder to get to know you before."

Shaking my head, I exhale. "I _never_ gave you a chance to do it." I grin at her abashedly. "I've practically hated you since we met."

"I've never really understood why," Rosalie begins. "Well, I know that marrying your father soon after your mother died is largely responsible for your dislike, but aside from that, I can't fathom why I cause you such distress."

"_Really?_ You never thought that your age could be a problem for me?"

It's Rosalie's turn to roll her eyes. "You _do_ realize that I'm a year older than Edward, right?"

"_You are?" _I ask, incredulous.

"I am," she chuckles, "which in turn makes your argument about my age totally invalid."

Minutely, I look down at my hands on my lap. "I'd never really thought about it that way," I admit.

Rosalie exhales deeply before moving closer and grabbing one of my hands. "Bella, I understand why you'd be opposed to liking me, okay? I mean, I'm the evil stepmother in this picture according to you, but it doesn't have to continue being that way anymore. I want us to at least try to get along for your father's sake, alright? Think of how happy that would make him."

"I've done so many things for my father," I murmur. "I love him so much and all I want is for him to be happy again."

Tilting my chin up with her other hand, Rosalie says, "Alice forced you to leave Edward, didn't she?"

I'm a teary-eyed mess as I nod, afraid that the sea of emotions I've tried to keep at bay are going to overflow with one wrong move.

"Oh, girl, what did she threaten you with?" she sighs.

Her question is all it takes for my feelings to pour out, yet they're not the only things to set free from within me. My tears and my words spill out while I confess what happened between Edward, Alice and me. I'm back at that place where everything hurts—where both my mind and body try to shut down—but I push myself to endure it. I don't know if it's because I'm still feeling vulnerable from this morning's events or simply because I need someone to hear me out, but I tell Rosalie _everything_.

Throughout my admission, Rosalie hugs me, holding me together if only physically. She does it automatically, too, and while I could reject the comfort that her arms provide, I don't. It's exactly the type of solace I unconsciously sought after for many years. Her embrace is a million times better than any meaningless sexual encounter ever gave me—it has meaning and purpose, and makes me feel whole for once.

Rosalie is earnest in her approach; I can feel it deep in my bones, causing my pain to intensify by a thousand. I could have had this so long ago and I rejected it for the most juvenile reasons. Sure, my dislike toward her was automatic, especially considering all the other shit I was going through, but all I ever honestly feared was that she was going to leave me just as my mother did. It's the real reason why I never opened up to anyone.

Riley has been my friend for years, but he doesn't know me—not really. While we've managed to form a bond that goes beyond friendship, there has always been a barrier between us that Riley knew not to approach, conscious that there were things which were better left unspoken. While he didn't really know the reasons behind most of my actions, he was there, supporting me in whatever crazy endeavor I wanted to fulfill. I did the same with him for a very long time, which is how we reached a point in our relationship where we became each other's unconditional ally.

Although, when Edward entered the picture, everything changed. Riley called me out on it, yet I refused to believe him. The attraction I felt for Edward went beyond the physical aspect of things, evoking an immediate shift in me from our first encounter which I also ignored. If I hadn't been emotionally attached to Edward since then, I definitely would not have continued seeing him. I never did it to avenge what Alice had done to me so many years ago, yet I did find pleasure in knowing that I had managed to even the score between us.

I could have rejected Edward's advances after I found out that he and Alice were engaged; nevertheless, I refrained from doing so because he provided a small sense of normalcy in the turmoil that is my life. When we were together, I could pretend that everything was okay, but once he left my side, I felt emptier than I had before I met him. Riley was always around whenever he was needed, so he kept me company and made me smile, but I never felt the same.

It was then that things got out of hand.

I began consuming more pills than I had in years, and once in a while, I would mix them with other drugs as I'd done when I began taking them. Maybe that's when I dropped the ball and Alice found out about my addiction? It probably happened when she was spying on Edward and me, though, seeing as I was pretty careful about keeping my dependence in the dark. So much so that I'm almost sure no one besides Alice and Riley know about it. Well, now Rosalie, too, since I just told her.

Rosalie brings me back to the present by pulling away from me only to cup my face in her hands next. As she does so, Rosalie says, "We're going to find a way to fix this, okay? I'm going to help you."

"How?" I sniffle.

"For starters, you need to get your shit together," Rosalie informs me. "There's no other way around it, Bella. You need to decide if you're going to tell your father everything that is going on or if you're going to do this on your own, but you need to get help." She sighs before continuing. "Well, that's _if_ you want it. If you decide that you don't, then you need to leave and think of your father as something of your past, because I won't allow you to cause him any more pain than you already have."

A watery smile spreads across my face. "You love him," I observe.

"Maybe it's not that obvious, but it's true: I love your father. And while our relationship began in an unconventional way, it's developed into something beautiful over time." Rosalie grins sheepishly. "Charlie makes me very happy, so I want to do the same for him."

"He deserves it," I note.

"There's something I want to tell you, which you probably already know but I still feel the need to say," Rosalie begins while looking into my eyes. "I have never, _ever_ tried to take your mother's place, Bella."

"I know that," I acknowledge. "I _have_ known that for many years, but you're unlike my mother in many ways, so you really couldn't have taken her place."

Rosalie frowns. "What do you mean?"

Looking down, I smile derisively. "You're here—despite all the bullshit, despite the fact that my father is still _somehow_ hung up on my mom—you're here. You haven't given up on us, and that is something that my mother couldn't do."

**-o-**

Rosalie manages to keep everyone away from my room for the rest of the night, giving me plenty of time to think about my decision. While making it doesn't take long, it's how I'm going to deliver the news to my father that keeps me up. I imagine various different scenarios, and while I'm almost sure that he's going to be supportive, I'm afraid nonetheless.

Although, to be honest, my fear is rooted in what can be said between us. I know I have a hard time controlling my temper, so lashing out at my father is something that I don't wish to do, yet I'm aware that it's most likely to happen.

Sighing, I get up from bed and take a quick shower. Once I'm done, I opt to wear something comfy, so I put on yoga pants, a loose t-shirt and my old Converse shoes. I brush my hair next and leave it down to air dry, and while I do ponder whether to wear makeup, I decide against it in the end. Finally, I head downstairs and go to the kitchen for something quick to eat.

Upon entering, I grin at Renata, our longtime cook. "Good morning, Renny," I tell her.

Renata beams as she looks at me. "Good morning, child. Are you feeling better today?"

I sigh, realizing that probably _everyone _in the house knows about my predicament. "Yeah, I'm just a little tired."

"Maybe you can take a nap after breakfast and you'll feel all better?" she says, hopeful. "Mrs. Swan told us last night that you had a horrible migraine, which is why you didn't come down for dinner."

It's still strange hearing people refer to Rosalie as Mrs. Swan, but I don't focus too much on that. Instead, I ask, "Who was here for dinner last night?"

"Just your father and his wife, along with your brother and your friend Riley," she informs me.

"What about Alice?" I tentatively inquire. "Had she left already?"

"Oh, Miss Bella, didn't you hear the commotion? After your sister's ex-fiancé burst into the house for his belongings, she came after him and they had a huge argument."

Groaning, I shake my head. "_God_, she's such a drama queen."

"That's exactly what Mr. Masen told her," Renata relays. "He said it was one of the reasons why he couldn't marry her."

I cringe upon hearing her words. "Did he mention any other reasons?"

"No," Renata says, sadly. "But I'm pretty sure that he didn't want to fuel her ire. Miss Alice was out to kill, child. You know how your sister is, but the good thing is that your father stopped her from doing further damage. He also asked her to leave immediately."

"_My father did that?" _I ask incredulously.

Renata nods. "He told her that she wasn't welcome here unless she apologized to you for her outburst."

I scoff. "Yeah, like Alice was going to do that."

"Precisely," Renata sighs. "I don't know what your father was thinking. Or, _maybe_, he knew _exactly_ what he was doing." She grins mischievously as she winks at me. "You've always been his favorite."

I chuckle, feeling my cheeks heating immediately. "So you say," I tease.

"Everyone knows it's the truth," Renata argues. "It's the reason why your sister feels such disdain for you."

The slight cheeriness that I felt a few seconds ago dissipates as soon as I hear her words, causing me to scowl. "Yeah, well, Alice might not like me, but she's an all-around bitch," I spit.

"_Child_," Renata chides. "If your mother were here, she would be—"

"Yeah, well, she's not," I bark, "so she can't do shit about it."

As if she's been chastised, Renata looks down and remains quiet.

I exhale deeply and walk over to Renata. As I give her a hug, I say, "I'm sorry, Renny. I didn't mean to snap at you, but you know how sensitive I am about the subject."

She nods, smiling ruefully. "I know, Miss Bella, but I just can't bear for you two to not get along. You're sisters, after all."

I don't comment about the subject anymore, deciding that it's a lost cause, and instead ask of my father's whereabouts.

"He's in the study going over some new case he's working on at the moment," Renata informs me.

"Okay, well, I'm going to go see him right now," I murmur.

"You don't want me to make you some breakfast first?" she inquires. "I could make you your favorite."

"As much as Eggs Benedict would be fabulous any other day, eating isn't very appealing to me right now." I exhale deeply. "I've got an inquisition to attend."

**-O-**

When I arrive at my father's study, I stall for about five minutes before finally knocking on the door. There's no point in delaying this any longer since it eventually has to happen, right? I take a deep breath and wait for my father to answer the door, except that he doesn't to do that. He simply calls out for me to enter his office.

Opening the door, I poke my head inside. "Are you sure this is a good time?" I ask. "Renata said you're busy preparing a case."

"I always have time for you, sweetheart," my father replies, looking at me over his tortoise glasses.

"Alright," I sigh before entering warily.

Once I've taken a seat by my dad, he asks, "How are you feeling?"

"Better." I shrug. "The same. I don't know."

My father observes me carefully for a minute before shuffling some papers on his desk while remaining silent.

"So," I prompt. "How's your case prep going?"

"I'm barely doing my background research, actually," he explains. "I just got this proposal last night, so I have to make sure everything adds up. You know I don't take on a client unless they're innocent."

"That's true," I chuckle. "I've never known how you're able to discern that, but it's impressive."

It's also one of the reasons why he's considered one of the best attorneys in the country.

"I call it a gut feeling, but really, it's just checking your facts and deciding what's true and what's not."

I simply nod, feeling insecure under his penetrating gaze.

"That's what I intend to do with your case, too," he informs me. "Alice said some things to me about what happened between you and Edward, but I'm not sure she's telling the truth, so I want you to explain to me what really happened."

I blanch upon hearing his words, dreading the worst. "What _exactly_ did she tell you?"

"Nothing I hadn't already heard at the wedding ceremony, but I want you to tell me what truly happened _and _how it happened," he orders.

Shit. He's not fucking around. My father looks just as lethal as he usually does while cross-examining a witness.

"Edward and I had an affair, but it's over now."

"When did it begin?"

"Before I officially met him as Alice's fiancé," I tell him, "the night before."

My father nods, leaning back in his seat as he removes his glasses. "You obviously continued seeing him after you found out who he was."

I nod. "I did."

"Why?"

"Because I liked him," I simply state.

He raises his brow, incredulous. "You didn't do it to scathe your sister?"

"No," I scoff. "If I'd wanted to do that, I would have taped myself having sex with Edward in my apartment and sent the video to Alice, but I'm not as unscrupulous as her."

I know it's a blunt and maybe too-forward statement to say to my father, but this is how it's always been between us, and it's also the truth.

"Okay, so how long did the affair last?"

This is the part that I don't know how to address. How do I tell him how long Edward and I slept around while being aware of his engagement to my sister? I've never felt as ashamed as I do in this moment.

Looking down, I shift nervously in my seat. "Around five or six months, but it was on and off," I confess when I finally gaze up at him.

"So, it was a sporadic relationship," he observes.

"It was."

"Do you have any feelings for him?"

Nodding, I reply honestly, "I do."

"Then why did you leave him? He seems to be in love with you—well, at least that's what he claimed yesterday."

"If Edward were in love with me, he would have called off the wedding," I counter. "He didn't do that, so how was I supposed to stay with him? Being his mistress after he married Alice? I'd already degraded myself enough by having a relationship with Edward throughout his engagement; I didn't need to do it further by continuing to see him afterward."

"What do you think about doing now that he's not with Alice? You don't think it can work out between you?" my father asks. "I must admit that while I'm not happy with how things came about, I do want you to be happy. So, if Edward will bring happiness into your life, I will help you."

Shaking my head, I toss my hair back. "It's not that simple, Dad," I jeer. "There's more to it than just this. Did Alice tell you how she found out that Edward and I were seeing each other behind her back?"

"No," he confesses as his expression shifts from calm to anxious.

"Alice had a private investigator follow us around, and while that happened, she learned about something else—something I've been hiding for quite a while now," I inform him. "Before I tell you what it is, though, I want you to know that I feel terrible about it."

"Bella," my father urges, "whatever it is—"

"I'm a drug addict," I blurt out, afraid that I'm going to lose the only bit of courage I have left.

My father's face falls. He shakes his head as if trying to rid himself of the words I just uttered. "I don't believe that," he says in denial. "I _refuse_ to believe that."

I gaze down briefly at my lap, conscious that I've just broken my father's heart. The weight of that knowledge burdens me immediately; it feels as if a thousand pounds of disappointment fell upon my back and infiltrated its way into my heart. And, despite the fact that it feels as if I'm obliterating on the inside, on the outside, I am collected and calm as if nothing has happened. It's what pushes me to continue my confession.

"It's true," I tell him. "It began right after mom killed herself."

"Sweetheart," my dad pleads, closing his eyes. "Please, don't…"

"_You need to know_," I urge. "The only thing that living in denial has left us is being _fucking_ broken. Can't you see how dysfunctional this family is now because of it?"

He finally gazes up at me yet remains silent, allowing me to continue saying what I've kept bottled up for so many years.

"_Everyone_ in this house has been affected by my mother's suicide in one way or another," I exhale. "I'll dare to say that I was the most affected because I was the one who had to deal with its repercussions directly, but everyone's life was altered by it."

"_Which repercussions_?"

"I had to put up with people whispering behind my back at school every day," I inform him. "And not only that, but I was also excluded from many activities because nobody wanted to be friends with the Swan kid. What if they did something that would set me off and I'd poison myself just like my crazy mother did?"

"Your mother was sick, Bella," my father sighs. "When she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, it was already too late to do anything."

"I know that, and even though it would have broken my heart to be by her side while she went through the last stages of her disease, I would have done it—I would have been right next to her! That would have given me the chance to cope with the fact that she'd eventually die. But the cowardly and easy way that Renee did it? She didn't even allow me that small respite," I spit.

"Your mother didn't want you or Jasper to see her that way—"

"Don't justify her!" I exclaim, standing from my seat. "Don't you dare feel any fucking sympathy for what she did! Renee Swan doesn't fucking deserve it—not when she fucked us all over, leaving you in such a state that you can't even accept it yet. It's been six years since it happened, Dad, and you're still pining over her memory."

Propelled by anger, I finally begin to cry.

"It's why you couldn't see what was going on with me," I murmur. "And I don't say this to reproach you anything, because I have absolutely no right to do so, but you left me alone when I most needed you. Jasper did, too, because while he comforted me when he was still here during his senior year at our high school, he left to Paris as soon as he graduated." Sighing, I shake my head. "That's when I lost all control of the situation… when I started using heavier drugs."

My father walks over to me, wrapping his arms around me immediately. I melt into his embrace as I, too, hug him. We stay like that for a minute, both of us lost in thought while holding each other. My father slightly pulls away, gazing at me when he begins to speak. "I'm so sorry that I've been a failure as a parent, Bella. Most importantly, though, I'm sorry that you've had to carry all this weight on your shoulders," he whispers while his eyes fill with tears. "I promise that I'm going to do everything I can to make this up to you, okay?"

I nod. "I'm going to need your help."

"Anything you want—_anything you need_—you've got it, sweetheart," he promises.

"I know," I whisper. "I _always_ knew that you'd be very supportive, but I didn't want to let you down. I didn't want to admit that I had a problem, and I may not have done it if it weren't for this situation with Edward and Alice."

Bewildered, he asks, "What are you talking about?"

"Alice blackmailed me with this information; it's the reason why I finally ended things with Edward."

My father's face clouds with anger, yet he tries to conceal it. "She forced you to break up with him by threatening to tell me this, didn't she?"

Exhaling deeply, I reply, "She did."

"I always knew your sister was terrible, but _this_ goes beyond limits," he says, smirking scornfully.

"In the end of things, it got me to realize that things were really getting out of hand. Well, Rosalie did that," I confess.

"_Rosalie?" _my father asks, astonished.

"Who would have imagined, right?" I chuckle.

"Not me," he says. "That's for sure."

"Yeah, well, we're trying to be friends—_trying_ being the keyword—but I really do think it's going to work out in the end."

My father sighs. "I hope so."

"She loves you, you know? So, she's trying to get us to be the family we once were."

"You really think so?"

"_Yeah,"_ I scoff. "And you need to reward her for it."

"How?"

"By redecorating this house and finally letting go of the past," I explain. "How awful do you think it is for her to be living in a house that looks exactly as your husband's deceased wife left it? That's fucking creepy."

That actually causes him to chuckle. "I'll take care of it, okay? As for your problem, I'll make some phone calls and figure out what we'll do if you're _really_ willing to get help."

"I am," I sigh. "I need to get better so I can be happy for once since this clusterfuck happened."

It's not going to be easy, but I need to do it. If I ever want to have another chance at love, I need to start by loving myself.

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**Thank you so much for reading! I hope this chapter allowed you to see everything that Bella was dealing with throughout the previous chapters. We're moving forward from this point on, so I hope you like that.**

**Also, in case anyone is interested, I've started posting teasers for the story on its blog, so check that out if you'd like. There are pics, as well as a chapter playlist and the actual songs that served as inspiration on the blog, too. The link to it is on my profile!**

**See you soon! ;)**


	10. I'm like a Rubber-band

Hi. I know what you're probably thinking, "Finally! After months, she finally updates!" Y'all are right, so I apologize, but more on that later. For now, enjoy this new chapter!

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**Chapter Ten: I'm like a Rubber-band Until You Pull Too Hard**

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**Chicago - Autumn, 2011**

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My life becomes a routine once I return to Chicago from Forks.

I wake up, go on my morning run and then return for a quick shower. Once I'm done, I shave and get dressed before heading to my office where my assistant is ready with my cup of coffee. Morning becomes afternoon and I find myself having lunch in my office—which is commonplace unless I'm attending a business meeting, of course. The day drags on until I head back to the secludedness of my home for dinner, which consists of either pizza or takeout, but it's always the same. I go to bed after watching some inane TV show, and the next day, I do it all over again as I have for the past four months.

It isn't until Charles Swans calls me, disrupting the calmness and monotony of my life that I finally snap out of my trance. It's as if I'd been in a zombie state, trudging through the days as they passed. Yet it wasn't because I didn't feel anything—I have been _consumed_ by an overwhelming sense of despair and rage—but I just couldn't find it in me to become engrossed in something that will eventually be pointless.

After being betrayed so callously by Bella, I lost all hope on humanity. It's only to be expected, though, since it makes sense to distrust others if the one person you love so much can betray you so deeply. I didn't even make an effort to make friends so that maybe I could get over my heartbreak, or who knows, maybe meet someone else. Although, being single for awhile is probably a good thing since I don't want to project all my anger at anyone.

It wouldn't be fair.

No, keeping to myself has worked pretty well, so I have no idea how meeting with Bella's father will unfold. I can only hope that he wants to talk to me about business, because if he's come to Chicago to reprimand me about messing around with both of his daughters—which he absolutely has a reason and right to do—I don't think I will be able to handle it well. And by that, I mean that I won't be able to control myself from telling him what kind of scoundrels his offspring are.

All Charles Swan said was that he was going to be in town and that he wanted me to meet him for lunch. I'm actually waiting for him to arrive at the restaurant we agreed upon right now, so I'm nervous as fuck. I've been sitting at my table for about thirty minutes, and so far, I have already drunk three glasses of water. That does not bode well with my anxiety at all. I just may pee my pants for the first time in my life, and that is something that I'm ashamed to admit even if it's just to myself.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes as I scrub my hands over my clean-shaven face.

_This is going to go down smoothly,_ I tell myself. _Everything is going to be alright._

It is then that Charles arrives, somewhat putting me out of my misery. The hardest part of this meeting is yet to come, but I've at least managed to get this far without having a breakdown.

Fuck. I'm a thirty-four-year-old man, for Christ's sake. I _should _have my shit together by now, yet here I am, freaking out like a teenage boy who's about to meet the parents for the first time ever.

"I'm so sorry about running late," Charles says as he arrives at my table. "My flight was a bit delayed."

I stand and shake his hand apprehensively. "It's alright; I just got here a little while ago, too," I lie.

Once we take a seat across from each other, Charles addresses me again. "Thank you so much for agreeing to see me, especially on such short notice."

"You said it was important," I explain, "although, to be honest, I was a bit wary of why you wanted to speak with me."

Charles smiles wistfully. "Yes, well, I would be, too, if I were meeting the father of the two sisters I was recently involved with," he begins, somewhat taunting me, "but you don't have to worry about that, son. I'm not here to reproach you anything; this meeting is to discuss Bella's current situation."

_"Bella?" _I scoff, smiling derisively. "With all due respect, sir, I have nothing to discuss concerning her."

Charles's responding smirk is just as sardonic as mine.

"My daughter warned me that you might be apprehensive when I mentioned her, but, as someone who's _wronged_ her, I figured the least you could do was listen to what I have to say. After all, you _are_ partially responsible for her being in rehab as we speak," he says.

I let his words sink in as our waiter appears to take our drink order.

Bella's in rehab. Because of me?

Fuck. I did not see that coming. Not at all.

Once the server has left, I address Charles again.

_"Bella's in rehab?"_

"That is correct," he replies, nodding. "She is currently at Jensen Beach in Florida, undergoing treatment for substance dependency." Exhaling, Charles looks down briefly. "My daughter has had a problem with her anti-anxiety medication, which she'd been taking while also consuming other drugs for years."

My stomach drops upon hearing Charles's statement. At the same time, our drinks are delivered and we both tell the server that we won't be ordering anything to eat. That's something that I can't even fathom. If I was a mess of nerves before, I'm a wreck now.

I sigh, trying to get my thoughts in order, as Charles remains silent and takes a sip from his drink.

"Sir, I... I don't know what to say. I had no idea about it, and I never even _imagined _that Bella had such a problem," I confess. "I could tell that something was weighing her down, but I always presumed it was the apprehension she felt toward Alice."

A small, rueful smile appears across his face as Charles acknowledges that Bella was very astute at hiding her vice. "I had no idea, either, son," he tells me, "and when she actually told me, I was in denial about it. I couldn't believe _nor_ accept that my little girl could be burdened by something so wretched."

"But she came to you for help," I say, trying to comfort him.

"Bella only came clean about it after she felt cornered," Charles explains. "Well, in a way she was, seeing as Alice blackmailed Bella with her knowledge of the situation."

"What could Alice possibly gain by doing that?"

_"You,"_ Charles scoffs. "Alice knew that Bella was in love with you, and as always, she wanted to have the upper hand. So, in turn, she threatened Bella with telling me about it if she didn't leave you."

Shaking my head, I say, "I can't believe Alice would do such a thing."

_"Really, Edward?"_ Charles asks, raising his brow.

"Well, with time, I realized that Alice was manipulative, but this is something on a whole other level, sir," I tell him before taking a sip of my drink.

Charles nods. "It is, which is why I've disowned her," he informs me. "Alice used her sister to get what she wanted, being fully aware that Bella would have no choice but to do what her sister asked—not only for fear of how I would react, but mostly because of how bad it would look for me if word got out about Bella's addiction."

"I'm sorry, but I'm not following," I utter, frowning. "What does one thing have to do with the other?"

"Have you forgotten that I am one of the highest paid attorneys in the country, Edward?" he inquires. "How do you think it would look in the eyes of the general public that my daughter is a drug addict? It would ruin my career."

"_Is that your main concern?"_ I scoff, tactlessly.

"By uttering those words, you've just proven how little you know me, Edward," Charles sneers, "because that's not my main concern. I'd be more worried about my daughter being hounded by the media after she'd been exposed and blasted on every one of its platforms."

Properly-chastised, I nod. "I'm sorry, sir," I sigh. "I simply don't have such a good impression of your family, so I honestly don't know what to expect when it comes to you."

"Well, I don't have a good impression of you, either, but here we are," he counters. "I honestly don't know what my youngest daughter sees in you—given your awful dating tactics and whatnot—yet she wants to make amends with you." Charles then pulls out an envelope from a pocket inside his suit jacket and hands it to me. "Bella sent this for you," he explains. "It's part of her rehabilitation process."

I place the envelope beside my cutlery, unsure of what to do with it. Exhaling, I ask the one question that's been plaguing my mind. "How long has Bella been in rehab?"

"Two months," Charles sighs. "She's got one more to go before she goes back home."

"All things considered, is Bella doing okay?" I ask, genuinely concerned.

"She's staying at 12 Keys, which is one of the best rehabilitation centers in the country, so she's being treated by some of the best professionals. It's not to say that that has any bearing on her improvement, but it's definitely helping her condition. Rosalie was just there last week for Bella's weekend visitation."

Raising my brow, I ask incredulously, _"Rosalie?"_

"I'm just as astounded as you are, but it seems that my wife and Bella have finally managed to put their differences behind them and are actually good friends now," Charles explains. "I just hope that things don't change when Bella returns to Forks and she has to deal with her dependency on her own."

"Well, I wish you all the best of luck in that endeavor," I state as I button up my suit jacket, readying myself to leave. "I hope Bella finally finds the peace she needs." I then stand and extend my hand to Charles. "It was nice seeing you, sir, but I better get back to my office. I have a meeting soon which I can't be late to."

Charles looks at me closely as he shakes my hand, appraising me. "I know what I'm about to say is going to sound insane—especially coming from me—but I do feel that I owe it to my daughter, alright?"

After I nod, he continues.

"I don't know what Bella did to push you away, causing your obvious hatred toward her; nevertheless, I do know that she loves you very much. Whatever happened must have been pretty awful considering its results, but don't let that cloud your judgment. If you really love her as you claimed, you should give her a chance. I'm almost sure that she's going to explain everything to you in that letter," he says, motioning to the envelope I have yet to grab. "So, before you destroy it, take a moment to read it and then decide what you want to do."

I take a deep breath and finally pick up the letter that Bella sent me. "I can't promise that I'll ever forgive Bella, but for you, I'll read this," I tell him.

"Thank you, son," Charles says, smiling appeased.

"Don't thank me just yet," I counter. "For all I know, I might not read this any time soon. I might just put it in a drawer and leave it there for God knows how long."

But who am I even kidding? As Charles nods, looking away when I turn to exit the restaurant, I know that I'm going to read it as soon as I can.

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**A/N: **So, remember that time I said I didn't want to make promises I couldn't keep? This is what I was talking about. Updating.

While writing is a huge passion of mine, I don't have as much time to do it as much as I'd like. There are a ton of things that I have to take care of during the day at my house, so by the time I'm sitting down to write, I'm literally falling asleep. Another thing that's taking up most of my time is a knitting class I'm in, although that's when my plotting happens, so it's not such a bad thing. The really bad thing here is that I'm constantly distracted by wanting to write other stuffs. For other contests. BUT, I promise to make this my priority. Freals.

I'm trying to decide what to do, because I don't wanna leave anyone hanging for so long. I've thought about posting this in smaller chapters, which is what I did here, so that you don't have to wait to have the first scenes until I'm done with a fourth or fifth one. And I've also thought about just writing it out and posting it in daily updates once I finish. ***sigh*** I don't know. This is why I'd never done a multi-chapter fic before. What do you think we should do?

Thanks so much for reading! (:


	11. This Secret Burns, but I'm Imprisoned

Hi! Hope y'all are having a great weekend! Thank you to everyone who gave me their input regarding this story's updates. Many of you agreed that shorter chapters would be okay, so we're going to give that a try. There may be some times when I won't be able to split up chapters; therefore, you might have to wait a bit longer for them to be posted. Never worry that I won't finish this story, though. My friend Lila will make sure of that. Right, Lila? ;)

I'd also like to thank **Alice's White Rabbit** for her valuable edits, and to **tanglingshadows** and **allihavetodoisdream** for pre-reading, too. These gals are awesome for taking the time to help me with my words.

Oh, and in other awesome news, we surpassed the 100-review mark last chapter! I am beyond thrilled and over the moon about it. I never would have imagined one of my stories would get that many reviews, so muchas gracias, babybabies!

Okay, enough rambling. Let's get to the good stuff! Let's see what Bella has to say in her letter, shall we? Enjoy! ;)

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**Chapter Eleven: This Secret Burns, but I'm Imprisoned**

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**Chicago – Autumn, 2011**

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When I return to work, the first thing I do before heading to my private office is address my assistant. I walk over to Michael's desk and tell him not to disturb me until I say otherwise.

Alarmed, he inquires, "But what about your conference call at 3:30? Mr. Volturi will _not_ be happy if you reschedule it."

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I try to stay composed. Michael is right, so I can't snap at him, yet I'm on the verge of doing it. Exhaling, I nod. "You're right, but I'm also not in the state of mind to discuss international affairs. Figure something out, okay? You're the best when it comes to handling him."

Michael grins bashfully. "I'll see what I can do, sir."

"Alright." I nod. "That's settled, then."

"Is there anything else you need me to take care of?" Mike prompts.

"No, that will be all. Thanks," I tell him before finally entering my office. Once I lock the door, I lean against it and take a deep breath. I've never been as thankful for an enclosed space as I am in this moment. While there are windows in my office, they're all facing the street, and we're on the twenty-fifth floor, so if I do break down, no one will see it.

Yes, I'm afraid of that happening since reading Bella's letter is terrifying as fuck.

I feel as if I were being threatened by someone with a gun pointed at my head, waiting to see if they'll pull the trigger or not.

_How can one piece of paper hold this much power over me?_ I muse. Of course, it all goes back to Bella—_she_ has that power over me. _Why should I be surprised, right?_

Gathering the measly courage I have, I step toward my desk while retrieving the fateful letter from the back pocket of my pants. That's where I'd stored it after folding it in half. I'd hated having to do that, but I really didn't have anywhere else to put it, and I couldn't precisely carry it around in my hand. By exposing it, I felt as if I were exposing myself to others; as if I were showing everyone how affected I was by it.

Having that letter in my hands was both a blessing and a curse, providing me respite as well as pain. While I was still angry with Bella, I couldn't help but be relieved she'd reached out to me. Then, when I thought about it a little more, I realized her letter was the only connection I'd had with her in months. That piece of paper had been in her hands, too, which in turn made me think of it as something sacred if only for a moment. When I remembered the motives behind its cause, I became angered all over again.

Right now, that anger isn't present, but I'm still overwhelmed. Maybe, once I read it, I can finally find the peace I need. With that in mind, I proceed to take my seat and turn on my desk lamp before taking out a lone sheet of paper from the envelope that Charles gave me. I unfold the letter with care, briefly closing my eyes as I sigh, then begin reading Bella's words.

_Dear Edward,_

_ If you are reading this, then you probably already know where I am and why. While it's not something I'm proud of, it's nothing I'm ashamed of, either. Getting to this point in my life has cost me greatly, but thankfully, with my family's support, I've been able to make much progress._

_ I'd like to start this letter by apologizing, which is its main purpose, but since there are many things to apologize for, I'll begin with the most important one: I'm sorry for breaking your heart. I know you loved me, and as hard as it may be to believe, I love you, too. Even to this day, as I write this, I know it to be a fact as much as I need air for living. Though I never said it, I definitely felt it, especially during our getaway weekend. Back then, your love was evident in the way you looked at me, in your kisses, but most definitely, in how you treated me as if I were the only person in the world even when we were surrounded by a multitude of people._

_ There will never be punishment enough to make up for what I've done to you, but if there were a way to do so, I'd do it. I would give anything for us to be together, for you to show up during one of my visitations, telling me that you forgive me, but I know it's not that easy. While you may believe I callously betrayed you with Riley, that is the furthest thing from the truth. Riley and I do share a special bond, which helped us create the scene you saw when you walked in on us at my apartment, but I wish to expand on that privately._

_ You're probably also aware of the fact that Alice blackmailed me, which ultimately led to a long chain of events that changed many lives, so you must know it's the sole reason why I even plotted that charade. As unbelievable as it sounds, it's true. All I ever wanted was to save my father the anguish of finding out I'm more fucked up than anyone knew or imagined._

_ Ironically, he's the one who helped me get into rehab. Well, Rosalie and him because, believe it or not, her guidance and support has been of great importance. Another influence for me to come to rehab has been you, even though nobody knows about it. Maybe, if I'd been clean, I would have been able to fight for you when Alice threatened me. I wouldn't have given you up so easily, although letting you go has been the hardest and toughest thing I've had to do after my mother's death._

_ If for any reason you've felt responsible for my addiction, please don't. I've been dealing with this problem since I lost my mom. Over the years, things have gotten worse, and while it's true I began consuming more drugs when we were dating, it was all due to my anxiety. There has only been one way of soothing my nerves, and unfortunately, it wasn't healthy._

_ There are many more things I wish to tell you, but, as I've stated before, I'd like to do it personally. I truly do wish you can forgive me and we can work things out between us. If all goes according to plan, I should be home by Thanksgiving, so I hope I can see you then for us to talk and discuss any questions you might have. _

_ I know it's far-fetched to believe you will accept an invitation to my house for Thanksgiving dinner, but I know you don't have anyone else to share the holiday with. If you show up, I'll take that as a sign you're giving us another chance. If not, then I'll understand._

_ Please think about everything that I've told you before you make any decision. I know that letting go of your hatred toward me will not be easy, but please try. That's all I can ask for._

_Yours truly,_

_Bella _

My eyes blur as I put down the letter. I want to cry out and curse and break everything within my reach, yet I settle for crumpling the letter and tossing it against the wall. I don't know with whom I'm madder—Alice for ruining my life like this, or Bella for preferring to hurt me rather than her father. Bella's words didn't tell me anything I hadn't already learned from my earlier conversation with Charles, except that she wants to see me, so the festering anger I've felt all these months doesn't dissipate a bit. Instead, I feel more hurt than ever, and I don't know if that'll change anytime soon.

Frustrated, I scrub my hands over my face. I don't know what the fuck to do, but sitting in my office and moping isn't it.

This is one of the instances when I hate not having friends because I have no one to talk to in situations like this. The only male friend/acquaintance I have is Peter, and he's who introduced me to Alice, so I can't call him to share my woes. Fuck.

I get up from my chair and step out of my office to tell Michael I'm going home. What happens next is inexplicable—call it an epiphany of sorts—and before I can change my mind, I blurt out what I'm thinking.

"Michael, I need you to cancel all my appointments for the evening, and once you're done, I want you to meet me in the parking lot. You've got five minutes," I order.

"Are we going out together, sir?" he asks with trepidation.

"Yes, I need you to drive me to Loxley's Pub. I don't know how long we'll be there, so if you have any plans for the evening, cancel them."

Maybe my decision isn't the best one, but speaking with Michael is my last resort. I know he won't share with anyone what I tell him because he's discreet and loyal like that, but I am afraid how he will see me in the future. I guess I'll just have to find out.

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**A/N: **Ooh, how do you think Edward and Mike's conversation is gonna turn out? Tune in next week to find out! ;)

Thank you for reading!


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